


Seeing Double

by patinagreen



Category: Misfits (TV 2009)
Genre: Alternate Timeline, Angst, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Angst and Porn, Double Penetration, F/M, Future Simon - Freeform, Hurt/Comfort, Jealous Simon, M/M, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Multi, Oral Sex, Save The World by Fucking, Sexy Times, Smut, Threesome - F/M/M, Time Travel, barely there plot, superhoodie
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-20
Updated: 2019-02-27
Packaged: 2019-05-09 04:32:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 22,187
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14709161
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/patinagreen/pseuds/patinagreen
Summary: Alisha's original power is gone and Simon is training to become Superhoodie, but their romance isn't what it was and isn't what it will be-- and they both know it. The truth is that time travel is not the best basis for a new relationship. Sometimes, you have to break the timeline in order to fix it.





	1. Chapter 1

* * *

 

“Alisha, you out?” Curtis poked his head out from the back room of the bar as Alisha zipped up her coat. There was a rising buzz in the main room as people filed in for their first drink of the weekend. Friday was a big tip night but she'd make plenty when she came back to work tomorrow.

“Yea,” she called, pausing in front of the mirror at the back of the bar. Alisha's hair and eyes looked wild tonight, as if she'd been out in the wind instead of inside the bar working all day. Her green eyes were wide and shining as she bent forward to inspect her reflection. Her navy blue sweater was barely visible underneath the black winter jacket and the pair of dark blue jeans she wore fit snugly into faux-fur topped tan boots. The boots were second-hand but looked new. “I've got a date with Simon tonight. Heading over to his now.”

Curtis walked around the corner with a crate of glasses and deposited them onto the counter. “How's that going?”

Alisha paused at that and stared at Curtis' reflection in the mirror. His back was to her as he unpacked the crate on the countertop. “You serious?  You want to know how things are going with me and Simon?”

Curtis laughed as he worked and slung a towel over his shoulder. “Don't act so surprised. We've been over awhile now. I can ask, can't I?”

“I guess,” she turned around and crossed her arms over her chest. “Just strange coming from you, that's all.”

“Alright, alright.” He turned to face her. “You still haven't answered the question, you know.”

“Me and Simon?” She tipped her chin up and smiled. “We're good. We have a great time. He's...really different than most blokes. He's special.”

He laughed at that. “Yea, you think?  I'm a bloke with superpowers. I've turned back time and saved lives and seen some strange fucking shit. And Simon's _still_ weirder than I am.”

“Oi!” Alisha stood forward at that, eyes already shooting small daggers. Curtis' hands shot up in defense but his eyes were smiling and good natured.

 “And I like Simon a lot.”  He laughed at her momentary indignation and she saw something soften in his brown eyes. For a moment he was the Curtis that she'd fallen for. “I'm glad you guys are...you know, happy together.”  

Alisha heard the warmth in his voice and watched him carefully for a moment before smiling back. “Thanks, Curtis,” she said softly. She wasn't really used to talking about her and Simon to anyone except for Kelly. And when she did talk about them it always felt like half of the real story because...well, because it always _was_ half the real story. No one else knew about Future Simon or the identity of Superhoodie, the masked ninja. Even if their friends had grown accustomed to their relationship, she and Simon knew that everyone was a bit baffled by its origins.

“Alright, enough of the sappy stuff,” Curtis finally broke their moment and flashed her a big smile. “Get out of here. I got work to do and you're taking up space staring at yourself in the mirror.”

She grinned back. “Have a good night, yea?”  

She pushed out of the door and felt the cold wind whip at her face. Snapping her hood up, she hunkered down for the walk to Simon's flat. Curtis had been sweet, really. Especially for a guy. She was relieved that Nathan hadn't been there to ruin the moment by making an obscene comment – or gesture. But the appreciation for Curtis' kindness was short lived because the truth of the matter was that she and Simon _weren't_ really fine. They were still together, yes. But they weren't fine.

She was halfway to Simon's flat when the shoelace on one of her boots snapped  She automatically bent down to pick up the torn piece, but it hung lamely in her fingers, completely useless and lonely.

“Fuck,” she muttered, stuffing the broken lace in her coat pocket and picking up the pace. The January wind had become biting now that the sun was going down and it whistled through the concrete alleyways near the estate. She shivered in her coat even as she thought ahead to the toasty warmth of Simon's place. Somehow it was always warm there. Or maybe she was always warm around him. Or, he was always warm. Or...something.

Simon. _Simon._

Their relationship had gone on almost four months now. A year ago, it would have been unimaginable to be with a bloke so long. And here she was. _With_ someone.

And just that one someone.

On a regular basis.

Almost everyday in fact.

But then Christmas had happened, she'd given up her power, and things had gotten...well, _off_ between them. He'd gotten awkward and aloof, which, to be honest, was pretty much his default state. But the odd thing was that _she'd_ gotten awkward, as well. And awkward was not something Alisha was used to.

She'd seen the signs the past few weeks. He was starting to pull away, retreat again into the Simon from before. Lately the air had begun to hang stiff between them, each time leaving Alisha to wonder what the trigger had been. Not like there wasn't a laundry list of possible triggers in their relationship:  their history, their powers, the pressure of time – events that could have happened, and did, events that have yet to happen but will. 

While a day didn't pass by that Alisha didn't sigh in relief that her first power was gone, the circumstances around Christmas still remained heavy in the back of her mind.  And what's more, it didn't seem to matter that she and Simon could touch now. They hadn't had sex in weeks. (Since Christmas, really.) She wondered now if they'd ever get back to the way they were before Christmas. If they'd ever be back to the way things were between her and the Future Simon.   _Not back_ _to the way things were, exactly,_ Alisha thought wryly. _Back to how they're going to be?  No. Back to making them come true again?_   _Not exactly...._ She sighed and gave up the attempt to verbalize the complexities of their future/present-tense relationship.

Alisha kicked a stray rock down the stairs before she descended them herself. They were like a fucking soap opera wrapped in a comic book. The title? _Destined for Tragedy._ The premise? _A former party girl and a recently-virginal wallflower decide to start a relationship._ And not only is this relationship complicated – what with the time travel and the superpowers - but neither of them have actually been in a real one before. Not one that lasted longer than a few weeks, that is. Bloody brilliant. There were so many red flags, so many reasons that they shouldn't really work, that it was no wonder they'd hit a rocky patch. Fucking mental. She'd have called it hopeless and broken it off already if she hadn't kept the memories of the Future Simon so close to her heart.

But she seemed to be the only one who thought of his future self fondly. She knew that Simon carried a type of grudge against his counterpart, but she had hoped that would resolve on its own. At first it seemed to be about the sex. He'd had that outburst at Christmas, when their first time together hadn't been as spectacular as they'd both hoped. As spectacular as it had been with Future Simon. But they'd tried again a couple of times and it had gotten better. Well, it was fine. Well, it was alright. Fine, really. ( _It would get better,_ she thought. _It_ did _get better, in the future_ .)  But his recent behavior had to be about more than the sex. He looked at her like she was a stranger sometimes, instead of his girlfriend. Suddenly, Alisha replayed her earlier thought:   _she'd have broken things off already if she hadn't had the memories of his future self._

And that's when it hit her, the real reason that she and Simon had been drifting apart: Simon didn't have the same confidence in their relationship that she had. That was what she'd seen in his blue eyes the past couple of weeks. Uncertainty. Hesitation. Doubt. The realization struck her so solidly that Alisha found herself at an abrupt halt, standing stock still almost to Simon's front door in the darkening, frozen alley. Her breath caught in her throat.

 _She'd_ experienced his future self. _She_ had memories of him. But the present Simon had nothing but a few pictures and her stories. She'd been the one carrying these memories of Simon's future self - of what and who he'd become – not him. Those memories guided her, always, as she navigated their relationship and the uncertainties in front of them. But the current Simon didn't have that guidance. All he had was her and his faith in her.

Faith that she'd shaken by lying to him. Faith that she'd made him question.

He had only just begun to trust in someone, trust in her, and she'd let him down. And, for the first time, Alisha wondered if shaky faith would be enough to make the future come true. A small voice in the back of her head wondered if she'd gone and royally screwed up a great thing before it had even started.  What if his faith in her wasn't enough? What if _she_ wasn't enough?

 

Simon was clever. He'd probably already thought of this and it was affecting the way he acted around her. This was the reason for his wariness of her. Her power was gone, so he didn't avoid touching her because he feared what her skin would do to him, what it would make him say and do. Maybe he did it for another reason. Maybe he didn't trust her. And why should he? She'd _lied_ to Simon to coerce him to give up his invisibility. (Alisha was used to lies, had employed countless of them without thinking in the past. She was also used to men lying to her.)  But this time she'd fucked up. Really fucked up. It didn't matter that they'd gone back to Seth's to buy new powers. Their relationship had been damaged and it was all her fault.

“Shit,” she muttered. “ _Shit._ ”  

The door to Simon's flat loomed in front of her but she couldn't bear to reach out to it.  All of a sudden Simon's flat didn't really seem all that appealing or warm any more. God, what if he didn't even want to see her tonight?  She'd kind of invited herself over in the first place. (It was Friday night. Weren't they supposed to get together?) What if he'd only agreed to be nice?  (He was so, so nice to her.) What if she'd been forcing a relationship that he didn't really believe in anymore? Sometimes she wondered if she'd become more lonely than he had been in the early days.  

She actually felt herself take two steps backwards. Away from his door. Away from him. 

Alisha stood there, stunned by both the revelations and uncertainties about the thing she'd learned to hold most precious in her life. It felt like the ground had opened up and swallowed her into it, like a pit of isolation. Like she had her power back all over again and she was alone, untouchable, imagining a connection with someone that she could never actually have.

Her cell buzzed loudly in her coat pocket, jarring her out of the oblivion. She scrambled for it and lifted it out. A text from Simon.

_On your way?_

She felt her eyes blur a bit as she read the text a second time, maybe from the cold or her own despair, she couldn't quite tell.  Maybe she was overreacting. Maybe he didn't doubt her, doubt them, quite that badly. Maybe. Standing with her thoughts was, unfortunately, getting her nowhere. She had no choice, she had to go in. And so with a heavy sigh, she pocketed the phone and opened the door.

 

* * *  

 

The screeching of the lift and sliding of the metal door masked the sounds at first, but as soon as she stepped inside she heard two things: music in the background. The Pluggers, one of their favorites. And a pair of voices. That was unexpected. The only people that had ever seen the flat had been the others – Nathan, Kelly, and Curtis - and Simon hadn't mentioned having their friends round tonight.  

“Simon?” she called for him, looking around the large studio room. She'd convinced him a week ago to bring in lamps so that they could avoid the large overheads when they wanted to. She'd called the fluorescent lighting “mad scientist chic” and he'd laughed, but brought floor lamps in the next day. They were on now and lit the room in a bright, amber glow.  

“Simon?” she said again loudly, her voice carrying over the music. The voices paused when she said his name a second time.  

A beat later and Simon came around the corner to her right. “Hey,” he said softly. He was wearing a black t-shirt and jeans and his hair was ruffled adorably. He flashed her a small smile and, for a moment, Alisha forgot why'd she just been so upset. 

“Hey, yourself,” she said, taking her coat off and slipping it on the rack beside the front door. “I heard another voice, who's --” 

She was cut off abruptly by his mouth on hers. He'd moved so quickly she'd barely had time to drop her arms from hanging up her coat. Consequently, her arms didn't have far to go to wrap around his neck and shoulders as he held her. His lips were soft but insistent and she opened her mouth to meet his tongue. He slipped his palm down to the small of her back and pulled him towards her until their hips were flush against each other. She was floating in a warm cloud, wrapped in the scent of his hair and skin. It would have been utterly relaxing if his hands hadn't been firmly massaging her waist and back. Instead the effect was exhilarating and calming at the same time. He pulled back slowly, leaving a lingering soft kiss at the corner of her mouth.

“Sorry,” he said, smiling as he rested his forehead against hers. She fluttered her eyes open, happy to see that he was almost as out of breath as she was.

“For what?” she breathed, glad that his arms were still holding on to her tightly.

“For interrupting you.” She looked up into his eyes. They were light blue but, as always when things got heated between them, his pupils had grown large and impossibly dark.  

“I – wha?” She shook her head – both to clear it and distract herself from the continued press of his warm palm against her hip. “Right. Yes.”

“Ah-hem,” a voice called out to her right and Alisha jumped out of her skin when she saw who was there beside them.

It was Simon. Dressed in a light grey t-shirt and dark blue jeans. His arms were crossed over his chest and he had a look on his face that wasn't entirely nice. She jumped back from the arms of the Simon in front of her and practically bumped into the metal door.

“What the **fuck** is going on?”  She looked back and forth between the two of them. Simon in the grey shirt and the Simon in the black shirt in front of her. Two Simons. Which was which?  And how?!

***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! I haven't posted fic in so long, but I'm a long time writer. This one was started in 2011 on a whim and lived on my harddrive since then. I just recently started working on it again and am moving quickly, so I anticipate finishing it within the next few weeks. I've always wanted to slow down and explore what happened between Simon and Alisha in Season 2 and Season 3. I've taken a few slight liberties, but hopefully they're subtle and don't take away from your read. Enjoy!
> 
> Comments and kudos are love!


	2. Chapter 2

* * *

 

“Alisha -” The Simon in the black shirt spoke first but she didn't let him finish.

“You!” She looked back and forth between the two of them again. “One of you...is...from the future? Again?”

“Yes,” they both said simultaneously.

The grey shirted Simon stepped forward and reached out to her. “Let me explain, Alisha,” he said in a quiet voice.

“Which is which? I mean, who is who?” She said, mind working quickly as she realized her Simon – her present Simon – was standing in front of her and she wasn't sure which one she'd just kissed. Or which one had kissed her. “Shit!”

“I'm from the future, Alisha,” the Simon in the black shirt said quietly, looking a bit sheepish as his hair flopped forward onto his forehead. “I came back.”

So, the one who'd kissed her like that had been from the future. Figures.

“What for this time?” she asked. It may not have always been true, but Alisha wasn't clueless. Not anymore.. The other Future Simon, the one who'd died, had told her in vague terms that traveling back in time had been a risk. That it was dangerous to attempt and more dangerous for him to stay. He'd only done it to avoid dire consequences. Her death. Their deaths. Chains of events that only he knew and understood. And now he was dead. “What's going to happen?”

The black t-shirt Simon stepped forward with his hand out to her and all of the sudden they were both too close. Much too close. She bolted between the two of them and whipped around, backing into the room. “No, no, he never said anything about this. He never said he came back before. Or again. What's wrong?”

“Nothing's wrong,” the Future Simon said quietly. They both stood there watching her. She knew how she must have looked: frantic, angry, frightened. But she didn't care. Not again. She couldn't watch him die or anyone else die again.

“I don't believe you.”

“I know this is a surprise,” the Future Simon said again, in that same voice. It was eerie. It reminded her of the time she'd first confronted the other version of Simon from the Future. They'd been right here in this flat. Maybe she was even standing in the same place. And he'd been so collected, confident, calm.

Now that she could see them standing side by side she saw that this Future Simon's hair looked a bit longer than her present Simon. No, not longer, but styled differently. He looked taller...but not by much. She glanced down. Boots. Her current Simon was barefoot. But other than that, they were identical.

Oh, God.

“I know this is a surprise,” Future Simon repeated. “But I came back just to talk to...him.” He gestured at her current Simon with a jerk of his head. “There are some things that he needs to know about the next few months. The next year, really. And this was the only way for it to happen. I'm just here for a night, just to talk to him and then I need to leave.”

“It's true,” the current Simon spoke up. “It's ok.”

“Ok?” Alisha called, surprised at the rising pitch in her own voice. “Ok?! No, it's not ok. You can't go fucking around with time like this again. You...you...” She tripped over her own words. How to talk about the different versions of the same fucking person?! “The other you told me that this was dangerous. Told me that he'd only done it because it was absolutely necessary! You can't come back for some sort of chat and a cuppa! Something bad could happen. I don't know what, I just know that it could happen!”

She’d seen Future Simon die. Burned his body. She couldn’t say the words out loud, but they rose up from deep inside her and echoed around her ribcage and against her heart.

Her current Simon walked slowly towards her, almost like he was cornering a small wild animal, which, by this point, is probably exactly what she looked like. “I know.. That's what I said, too. But he explained the situation and I know why he did it. I know the...position he's in in his time. This was necessary. If I were him, I'd do it, too.”

The other Simon laughed at this – a short bark that sounded unfamiliar. Her Simon never laughed like that. “And you probably will, now that I've come.”

Her Simon, just a few feet away from her, shot a glare over his shoulder. But his eyes softened when he turned back to her. “It will be ok, I promise.”

Alisha's heart was racing but she felt an immediate wash of comfort and love from her Simon. He was quiet and smaller somehow than this new Simon. And, now that he was closer, he felt familiar. Safe. He reached his hand out to her and she grasped it.

“But last time this happened...” The words caught in her throat as she returned to the memory of Simon dying in her arms. His blood warm and dripping between her fingertips and his breath halting and catching in his chest....the smell of petrol and flesh in her nose. In her nose for days and days....

“Hey,” her Simon whispered, squeezing her hand in his. “Hey, don't worry.” He caught her chin with his hand and she looked up at him. His eyes were cheery and he smiled his old smile. Half hesitation, half cheek. Simon's smile. She squeezed his hand back.

“All sorted then?” The black T-shirt Simon asked, hands shoved in his pockets.

“'All sorted'?” She shook her head. “This is mental. You know that right?” She asked both of them. “This type of shit does not happen to normal people. And it's happened to us twice now.”

“For all you know it's happened a dozen times. When you have a friend who can turn back time all sorts of crazy shit happens.” The Future Simon (as she started to call him in her mind) flashed her a smug grin and rocked back and forth on his heels.

“Is this future you a bit of a git?” She asked the Simon in front of her.

“Oi!”

“Yes. A bit,” her Simon said quietly. He turned to her then and gave her a small kiss on the forehead. “Come on, let's get some dinner and then we'll talk.”

  
* * *

It didn't take long to decide that there was no food in the house for dinner. And it took even less time to decide that they couldn't all go out together, even to grab quick take-out from the Chinese place down the river. It was too risky. Two Simons at once? They'd attract attention from strangers even. And what if their friends happened by? No. One Simon would have to stay behind. Alisha worried her lip at this point in the conversation. She wasn't sure she wanted to stay behind either. All of the sudden the huge studio room felt crowded.

“Fine, I'll stay,” Future Simon said finally. He turned on his heel and walked back to the desk, sat down, and started working at the computer.

“Well, what do you want?” Alisha asked.

“I know what he wants,” her Present Simon said quietly. “The chicken.”

“Yea,” Future Simon called back over his shoulder. He was busy clacking away at the keyboard, eyes intent on the screen. He looked right at home there and picked up a pair of headphones beside the laptop.

“Come on,” the Simon at her side tugged her jacket sleeve, pulling her towards the door. “Let's go.”

She turned with him and they stepped into the lift, pulling the door shut behind them. They rode in silence on the way down and walked out onto the alley before turning left and heading towards the restaurant. She glanced over at him as they walked and saw his hunched figure in his black winter coat. He'd drawn his hood up and his face was half hidden, but she saw the set of his shoulders and the firm thrust of his arms as they dug his hands into his pants pockets. He was thinking hard.

“Are you alright?” she asked quietly. He looked up at her and nodded, eyes intent.

“Yea, I'm fine,” he reassured her. “Just really weird, you know. Having him here. I don't know what to think yet.”

“You and me both,” she replied, blowing a puff of air out in exasperation. It floated in the cold air in front of her for a half a second before fading away. “He seems different than the last...version of you from the future. More energetic somehow. Maybe more...”

“He reminds me a bit of Nathan,” Simon muttered, the slightest sneer on his face. Alisha blinked at him.

“I wasn't going to say that.”

“I know. But it's true. Something in his attitude. The way he talks.”

“He hasn't said anything completely disgusting and pervy, has he?”

  
Simon laughed then, shaking his head as they walked up the stairs together. It was his laugh. The one she was used to. “No, nothing disgusting or pervy. Not exactly like Nathan. Just...more talkative than I am. Sure of himself.”

“Well, he's you. And you've been hanging out with Nathan a bit more these days. Maybe he rubs off on you after awhile,” she said hopefully. But a beat later she shook her head. “God, I hope not.”

Simon smiled at that and reached out to grasp her hand. She closed her fingers around his, feeling instantly better. They could handle this together. They would handle this together.

They reached the restaurant not long afterwards and ordered an order of the vegetable dish for her and two orders of the chicken for them. Simon plucked the sauce packets in double and deposited them into each bag of chicken. Obviously, he knew himself well. He also added the sauces she usually asked for into her bag. He knew her well, too. She watched him pay and then turn back towards her in the busy restaurant. He moved quickly through the crowds of people, easily sidestepping a couple that were a bit tossed already. A group pushed past him and he flattened himself against a wall, barely allowing them to touch him, and turned quickly to walk through the crowd again. He'd gotten more graceful in the past few months and she knew why – the private training sessions he'd been putting himself through. Superhoodie had moved like a cat, quickly and quietly. The ninja. Simon wasn't there yet but she could see the beginnings of it when he moved like this. Gone was the stuttering, halting Simon in the orange jumpsuit. The Simon in front of her now, all dressed in black, wasn't quite a ninja, but he wasn't average bloke anymore either. Watching him move stealthily in the crowd sent a tingling shock all the way from her toes to her scalp. He looked like his future self. She blinked twice and Simon was in front of her now, looking warily at all of the people, a bit nervous and anxious to leave.

The ninja had slipped away for now.

“Ready?” he asked. She nodded and they were off into the night again.

Alisha spent most of the walk remembering the wealth of worry she'd fallen into just before entering Simon's flat. It was creeping back into her consciousness again. She mulled over her memories of Future Simon and what those memories could be doing to her Current Simon's faith in her. How he barely touched her at night when they were in bed together. When she had her power they'd been too scared to sleep in the same bed, for fear that he would touch her in the night. Now that they could touch, he didn't touch her because he didn't want to. It was like a cosmic joke. Or a punishment. She thought of the shadows in his eyes when he looked at her sometimes. Maybe he felt like he was stuck with her, and not because he really wanted to be? Maybe -

“I didn't like seeing him kissing you,” Simon said suddenly, his voice colored with an intensity that surprised her.

“What?” Alisha had been shaken out of her thoughts by the vehemence in his voice.

“I said, I didn't like seeing him kiss you,” he said again. His voice was harsher than his face. He looked a bit surprised at himself, but his eyebrows were drawn in tight.

“But I didn't know it wasn't you!” she cried, stopping in the alley to face him.

“I know, it's just...” he stopped a step ahead of her and turned to face the river.

“It's what?” He didn't answer, but pursed his lips and wouldn't meet her eyes. “You're jealous?”

“Yes, of course I'm jealous!” He stared at her incredulously, like she had asked the sum of one plus one.

“Well, why? It's you. He's you. You'll become him soon.” She shook her head, frustrated to be going over this again.

“But it's not me. It's not. And...and...” his jaw clenched and unclenched, clenched again. “You don't understand.”

“Well, then tell me!” She stepped in front of him, placing a hand on his chest. “Tell me what you're thinking...”

He gazed down at her and took a deep breath. She watched several thoughts pass through his blue eyes. She was good at catching them now, she knew what to look for. But he was Simon and he could keep himself wrapped up more tightly than anyone she'd ever met. He could choose to keep everything inside if he really wanted, everything. She hoped he wouldn't now. He opened his mouth to speak and, just like that, closed down again. “I can't.” She felt her face fall.

“It's my fault isn't it?” She asked, scared of the answer. “You don't feel you can tell me what you're thinking because of something I did...something I didn't do...” She trailed off, searching his face.

“No!” He said quickly, offering a weak reassurance. “No, that's not it.” He sighed in frustration and reached his free arm around her, pulling her in close. She buried her face in his shoulder and felt herself melt a little at his contact.

“Then, what is it?” she said, muffled into his chest. “Why won't you tell me what's going on? I can tell-”

“Please, Alisha,” he said into her hair. She could feel the vibration of his voice against her cheek. She sighed and nodded. She felt incredibly upset, knowing now that they'd both acknowledged that something was happening. She hadn't just imagined it, as a small part of her had still hoped. They weren't quite right and Simon knew it. Not only did he know but he wouldn't talk about it. He probably didn't want to hurt her feelings. What horrible truth did he have to say? “Come on,” he said finally, pulling away. “The food will get cold.”

She turned to walk beside him. “Are you going to tell me what he told you? The reason why he came back?”

Simon glanced at her out of the side of his eye and shook his head. Great. Another secret.

“But you promise it doesn't involve one of us dying?” She asked quickly, before they reached the door.

“I promise.”

“You can tell me things, you know,” she blurted out. Somehow, she had to say something to reassure him before they reached the door and the other Simon. Somehow, she had to let him know that she cared for him and didn't ever, ever want to hurt him again.

“I know, Alisha. But that doesn't mean it's easy for me,” he said, as he opened the door and they stepped into the lift. “That doesn't mean I will.”

That didn't seem like the right type of response to her. But she couldn't think of anything further to say because just then the lift stopped and they opened the door to the sound of loud music echoing in the flat.

 


	3. Chapter 3

Future Simon had apparently been combing through her Simon's music collection while they fetched food. He was laying on the bed with his hands behind his head, tapping his foot merrily in time to the track blasting throughout the flat. It took her Simon half a moment to stride across the room and turn the stereo down.

“That's really loud, you know,” he said, walking past the desk to put the food on the kitchen's bar counter.

“Yea, I know,” Future Simon said, sitting up and crossing his legs. “But we don't have any neighbors last I checked.”

Her Simon didn't say anything as he unloaded the bags and pulled out plates. Alisha watched him carefully, but he didn't betray any evidence of his earlier emotions. He was still again. Like still water.

The Future Simon bounded up off the bed and walked over to her. He flashed her a bright smile and reached out to her. She stepped back immediately.

“What are you doing?” she asked.

He chuckled a bit and grabbed at her jacket, stripping it away from her shoulders. “Being a gentleman.” She opened her arms so he could pull her coat away fully. He hung it on the coat rack by the door and turned back to her. “You usually like that sort of thing,” he said, crooking her a grin.

She looked up at him again, stunned to see him up close after having just been so close to her own Simon not five minutes ago. His face was animated, lively. He was just as intently observant as her Current Simon was, but there was something mischievous dancing behind his blue eyes. She caught herself alternating between falling into his eyes and closely examining his eyebrows, cheekbones, lips. So alike, but different, too. When she pulled her gaze back a bit she saw that he had a lazy, appreciative smile on his face.

He'd been looking at her, too.

“Food is ready,” Simon called from across the room. She jumped a bit and walked quickly around his counterpart, feeling heat rise up in her cheeks and praying that her Simon didn't notice.

The beginning of the meal was a bit of a slow start but after a few moments the two men began talking about music and, as far as Alisha could tell, that erased all of the strangeness between them. The Future Simon was filling his past self in on all of the upcoming concerts that would be coming through the city. Apparently, bands that they liked would soon announce that they'd be touring in a few months and tickets would be hard to come by. Alisha couldn't help but watch the two of them interact with open fascination. They laughed at a joke in almost the same way and she blinked at the sound.

_Too weird. Just too fucking weird._

Her Simon was back to his grey T-shirt now, and for that she was thankful. If they were wearing the same clothes she'd likely be able to tell them apart, but only because of their attitudes and they way they held themselves. And their hair. Her Simon still kept his relatively tame, while the other Simon had a style between slightly mussed and bed-head. She wondered if there were any other differences. The very first Simon from the future had several scars that her Current Simon didn't possess. And his body had been more...toned. Stronger. He'd had strong, iron muscles under soft pale skin. Her Simon was no weakling, not after his training sessions, but he wasn't that big just yet. She guessed that the Future Simon in front of her now was kind of in between as far as muscles went. But she'd have to see him shirtless to really tell.

Alisha ducked her head to take a bite of her food in order to hide the fierce blush that rose up in her cheeks. Down, girl.

“Do you remember Sarah from down the street? Mum's friend's daughter?”

“Yea, I remember her. She was...she liked to party.”

“Yes, that's the one. Well keep an eye on her the next few months.”

“Why? What happens to her?”

“She has a power. Happened during the storm. But it's nothing to worry about. It's hilarious! Awful, really. I feel bad for the poor girl.”

“What type of power?”

“Well, remember those tie-dyed shirts they'd hang out back on the clothing line? All different colors?”

“Yea.”

“Well, they're not making them with tie-dye. It's Sarah! Changing the colors herself.”

“What? She can tie-dye shirts? Is that it?”

“Any color she wants! But only clothing! It's really shit!” By now the Future Simon had dissolved in laughter and Alisha watched her Simon follow suit. She felt awful for Sarah. But then again, maybe that'd be cheaper than buying new clothes. The men were soon off on another story about someone they both knew.

“I just have to say, watching you two talk is really, really mental,” Alisha said finally, pushing her plate away.

They paused, laughing a little still, and stared at her. They were all sitting at the kitchen bar, Alisha on the end with the two men on either side of her.

“I mean,” she continued, wrinkling her nose as she glanced between the two of them. “I've been around twins before and it's almost like that. But it's _so not_ the same time. Twins are still individuals and you're...like echoes of each other. You're the same but different. I can't get over it.”

Future Simon spoke first, a smile in his eyes. “Yea, well, you're different too, sweetheart.” He stood up from his barstool and headed back into the small kitchen area. She was glad he'd turned his back so he didn't catch the surprise on her face at his use of a petname. “We all change as we get older don't we?” He was bent over, rummaging through the fridge.

“I 'spose so,” she said, watching him dig through Simon's food. He turned around with several beers in his hands and walked back to set one down in front of each of them. “But it's not like there's copies of everyone running around together to compare.”

They popped their beers open and took a swig. Future Simon looked thoughtful and said, “Well, in my time I've seen us all change. Even Nathan grows up a little.”

“Really?” the Current Simon asked. “I don't think I believe that.”

“Well, I said a 'little.'”

“When is your time anyway?” Alisha asked, sipping her beer. She was glad he'd grabbed them. Maybe the alcohol would prevent any more strange awkwardness between the three of them. Or between her and the Current Simon. The cold can felt reassuring in her hand and the alcohol burned a bit warm down her throat. Liquid comfort.

The Future Simon winked at her then and took a large drink of his beer. He practically tossed it back, actually. She had a feeling he did that just to avoid her question. She looked over at her Current Simon and he gave her a shrug.

Finally, Future Simon said, “Well, when do _you_ think my time is?”

Alisha squinted, unhappy with this evasion of her question. But she pressed ahead. “The other time...last time you came back you never told me how far ahead your present was.”

“How far ahead did you think I was?”

“Dunno, really,” she felt her forehead wrinkle in thought. “A few years maybe. Maybe more. How far ahead are _you?_ ” she asked again.

“Pass,” he replied.

“What?” she put her beer down mid-sip. “Whatchu mean 'pass'?”

“I mean, I'm passing on that question. I can't tell you.”

Alisha looked back at her Current Simon, who got up to go replace his beer. “Don't look at me.”

“Ok,” she said slowly, eyeing the Future Simon, who had finished his beer already as well and was fiddling with the can tab. “Well, what else can you tell me?” She leaned forward, putting on a good smile with her glossed lips and batting her eyelashes just so. He looked up at her and grinned at her act. His look said _“Not going to work, but I don't mind looking.”_

“As little as possible, preferably,” her Simon said as he settled back into his stool. The music in the background had switched to something upbeat and acoustic and so his statement didn't land as flatly as it could have. There was a warning in his voice but nothing harsh. All the same, the Future Simon shot his counterpart a mischevious smirk before turning his gaze back on Alisha. She suddenly got the feeling that he didn't like his earlier self telling him what to do.

“I have an idea,” he began, leaning over the counter to speak conspiratorially to Alisha. She sat back slightly, but nodded her head for him to go on. “Why don't you ask me questions and I'll answer if I can. And pass if I can't.” His breath was warm against her cheek and smelled slightly of beer. She didn’t mind.

“Ok!” she grinned. This sounded like a game. And a game sounded fun right about now.

“It's probably not a good idea,” her Simon began.

“I know what I'm doing. I'm you, remember?” the Future Simon shot Alisha a wink and turned to grab another beer from the fridge. He opened it and passed it to her. _A gentleman_ , she thought. “Alright, sweethea—Alisha. You start.”

Alisha heard his term of endearment before he replaced it with her name and it made her feel warm all over. She felt bad that her Simon probably didn't like hearing it but she couldn't help feeling a bit loved at the sound of his voice calling her 'sweetheart.” _Sweetheart._

“Ok, I'll start,” she sipped her second beer thoughtfully, feeling encouraged by the levity in the room and the drink between her hands. “Do Nathan and Kelly get together?”

The Future Simon scoffed at this. “The knowledge of the future -- the entirety of what I know about time travel and our lives from this point forward to my timeline -- is at your fingertips and you ask about Nathan and Kelly getting together?!”

Her Simon hid a smile behind his beer. Alisha glared. “Answer the question.”

“Yes,” the Simon from the future nodded. But then he paused. “Kind of. Sort of. Kind of.”

“That's a horrible answer!” she cried, shaking her head.  
  
“That's what you get.”

“Ok, then,” she hopped off the stool and paced a bit in front of the counter, enjoying herself now. “Do I still work at the bar in the future or do I find a new job?”

“You find a new job.”

“And what is it?”

“Pass.”

“Do I get lots of money?”

“You get some.”

“Hey!” Alisha punched her Simon lightly in the shoulder in triumph. “You hear that? I get some money!”

He smiled and nodded. “Yea, that's good to know.”

“Ok, ok,” she paced again, on a roll now. “Do any of us get arrested again?”

“Yes.”

“Who?”

“Pass.”

“Oh, come on! That's important!”

  
“Pass!”

“I've got one,” Simon spoke up. He was sitting on his stool with arms in his lap.

The Future Simon leaned against the counter and turned to him. “Go on.”

“When do I get better at the Superhoodie stuff?” he asked calmly, watching his future self closely.

There was a slight pause, a hesitation, before he received his answer. Finally: “Soon.”

The two men gazed at one another for a long moment and it seemed to Alisha that some unknown conversation was passing between them. She'd heard of twins having a silent connection. This was like that, she thought. They seemed to come to an understanding and Future Simon nodded.

“Good,” her Simon said, finishing off his beer.

Alisha watched him for a beat and then turned back to his future self. “Alright. Here's another.”

“Yes?” the Future Simon lifted an eyebrow and waited. His energy had toned down a bit during the last couple of questions and she saw that his brows were knitted together. He'd crossed his arms in front of his chest and his chin was tipped downwards. She recognized Simon's thinking face. He was listening to her but his thoughts were miles, or years, away. She almost didn't ask her question then, but she knew she had to or she'd be wondering about it all night. And maybe the answer would help her understand how to deal with the Simon of her present.

“Earlier you said that I'm different, too...” she began slowly, watching the Simon of her future carefully. He lifted his eyes to her but didn't reply. “Well, what I want to know is...what am I like in the future?”

There was a pause this time, longer than before. She didn't dare look at her Current Simon for fear he'd stop the Future one from answering. Instead, she held the Future Simon's gaze, compelling him to answer her. What would he say? Would he lie? Would he tell her something shallow? Would his answer give her a clue about what her Current Simon was hiding from her? The Future Simon gazed back at her and then straightened up, sighing.

“In the future, you are...fantastic. You're fantastic now, of course.” He smiled and paused, then continued while looking her over. She felt like he was gazing through her. Through her to the future. “But you start to harness it somehow. I'm not sure how to say it. But you're strong, so strong. And decisive. I...sometimes I take a long time to figure out my next move and you just appear and pick out the right decision straight away. You just _know_.”

He paused then and swallowed. His eyes bore into her and she felt herself falling just a bit, falling towards him and his voice. When he spoke again, it was quietly, barely above a whisper.

“You're gorgeous. More gorgeous than you are now it seems. Like everyday you somehow get brighter and brighter...blinding me with how beautiful you are.”

Alisha felt like she'd forgotten to breathe. He reached his hand out to her face and caught her cheek in his palm, passing a thumb over skin. He was looking at her now with such warmth and intensity that she felt it spreading from her face down to her chest, through her stomach.

This Simon loved her. He loved her then and he loved her now. The Future Simons--both the one lost and the one before her--  _loved_ her. 

She let him touch her because it felt solid, and comforting, and real.

But it felt like more than that; it felt right.

And her Simon was watching.

She pulled back just as he dropped his hand to his side, clearing his throat. The sound jolted her out of her reverie and she leaned backwards, unable to stop herself from looking at her Simon.

But her Simon wasn't looking at them; he was staring menacingly at the kitchen counter, cheek muscles tensed.

The silence hung awkwardly between the three of them and Alisha wanted to walk away and curl up on the bed. Away from the strangeness, but into the memory of his hand on her face.

 _Blinding me with how beautiful you are._ No one had ever said anything like that to her before. And hearing it from Simon after the past month that they'd had felt like such a relief, a balm. But she hadn't heard it from her Simon. And now he was angry, dashing her brief feelings of warmth and love, with his knotted brow and stony silence. It was incredibly unfair.

“What?” the Future Simon broke the silence, he glanced back and forth between the two of them, the previous tenderness in his voice replaced by incredulity. “What is going on with you two?”

They both blinked at him.

“Oh, come on,” he scoffed, shaking his head. He pointed at her. “I know you very well by now. Or then. Whatever.” Pointed at Simon. “And I am you, so I know you really bloody well. So don't try and hide it. Something's going on with you two. What is it? Come out with it!”

Alisha was stunned at the change in direction. This conversation was starting to make her head spin.

No one answered for a moment and Future Simon knocked on the counter impatiently. “What’s going on?”

Alisha sighed and said “Hell if I know” at the same time that Current Simon said “Nothing.”

Future Simon frowned. “Right.”

 


	4. Chapter 4

Alisha had been gazing into the bathroom mirror and into her own face for so long she’d forgotten why she’d come into the bathroom in the first place and left the faucet running far longer than what was acceptable. She twisted the knob until the water ceased and leaned forward, pressing her hands into the edges of the sink and sighing into the small, empty room.

She’d jumped off the barstool and headed straight towards the bathroom after the awkward moment with Simon.

The awkward moment with both Simons. _Both_ Simons.

Alisha hated awkward and they both knew it, so neither had stopped her when she’d dashed away. Smart men, them. She needed to be alone.

“Alisha?” Simon’s voice was light, curious, concerned. Her instinct was to respond immediately, the way she would to Simon on a normal night or a normal day. But she didn’t know which Simon was calling for her though the door and didn’t know what to say to either, even if she did know.

The Simon pushed the door open and peered in and the action itself— forward, presumptuous— made it clear that this was Future Simon even before she saw his black shirt and ruffled hair. She watched him in the mirror without turning around. He stepped into the room and closed the door softly behind him.

The room was tight and utilitarian. No countertops for leaning. No room for comfortable conversation. Not enough space for two people at all really. He was inches from her and the only space she could still claim, still preserve for herself, was the sink in front of her. She wasn’t ready to turn around and face him.

He gazed at her in the mirror and sighed. “I don’t remember this.” She blinked a question at him and he continued. “What I mean to say is, this is the first time that a future me has come back, or the first time I know of. I don’t remember there being two of us together like this. I think I’m the first.”

“Is that bad?” Alisha asked, despite herself. Her question sent a ripple between his brows that softened within seconds, but he was otherwise still. Outwardly calm, but concern pulled at the corners of his eyebrows and sat in the slight clench of his jaw.

“Not necessarily. I knew it when I came back. But it’s not just me being here that I don’t remember. I don’t remember why we’re fighting.”

“I’m not fighting with you.”

“You know what I mean. Why _you two_ are fighting.”

“I’m not fighting with you.”

He sighed again and closed his eyes for a brief moment. She was poking at him, she knew, but she didn’t have many other defense mechanisms with him these days. The man before her, in some form or another, had stripped those away months ago.

“Alisha. What I’m saying is that something is off now. Not just me, but you both. And...if something is off and stays off, that will be bad. Bad for me. Bad for us in the future.”

“If something stays off?”

The old Simon, the one from the earliest days of their community service, visited this Future Simon like a ghost. Nerves, embarassment, anxiety rolled across his facial expression in quick succession.

“Our timelines. If...if you break up with him. With me.”

“What?” Alisha whipped around. “Who says we’re breaking up?”

“No one!” He shrugged, shaking his head. “No one. I just-- I can’t stay long and I had to get to the quick of the matter. Please don’t break up.”

“The quick of the—what the actual fuck, man!” she sputtered, smacking him on the shoulder. Relief showed on his face and across his entire frame. He smiled at her batting hand and caught it before she could retract it. The rough skin of his thumb passed over her knuckles once, twice. He didn’t let go and she sighed despite herself. “I’m not breaking up with you. Him. Whatever. We’re just not...we’ve been…”

He tilted his head to the side. “Yeah, I’ve noticed this is about where both of you stop forming sentences.”

She yanked at her hand and he caught it fast once more, pulling himself closer to her. The motion was impulsive and sharp, but the strength behind it was unmistakable. She stumbled into him and had just enough time to put her free left hand up between them, pressing against his chest.

He inhaled deeply and she felt the shift and settling of his muscles beneath her fingertips. When was the last time she’d touched her own Simon like this? Is this what his chest had felt like? She felt a pang of guilt and, close behind it, a rush of confusion. Her body was responding to her boyfriend’s body and that was natural, normal, but this was not her boyfriend exactly. Or yet. “Yet” seemed like a good word to put into rotation when your boyfriend is a time traveler. Or several time travelers.

“You’re overthinking it,” Simon murmured. When had his face gotten so close? His eyes were slate blue and she could see the lashes around them, set like wisped paint strokes against his skin.

“No ‘im not.” was her immediate and contrarian response, but the weighted breathiness took some of the bite out of the protest. She heard it immediately and she knew he did, too, because he chuckled and the sound sent low vibrations into her wrist.

“Alisha?” he asked, voice low and whispered against her cheek.

“Yes?” her breath was coming quickly now and the smell of his skin came clean and sharp like a winter breeze off the Thames. Like the smell one would pick up when dashing between buildings, jumping off of fire escapes. She caught a hint of leather. From his armor, his gloves. Superhoodie.

Simon nuzzled her cheek once, twice, and the graze of his stubble against her cheek made her knees tremble. “Are you fucking? You and him?”

His voice had curled around the word “fucking.” His lips over the “f”, lingering over the sharp “k”. She was still processing the shiver running from her chest to her belly when she answered, “No, not in a few weeks.”

He pulled back, his eyebrows shot into his forehead and lost amidst the fringe of his bangs. “ **Weeks?!”** The aroused haze in the bathroom lifted so quickly she almost fell backwards; the action created friction between her thighs and sent a tremor up her low spine. Fuck.

Simon, on the other hand, looked like he’d been slapped. “Weeks?!”

Before she could respond properly, a double knock at the door made them both jump. “What’s going on in there?” Her Simon was irritated.

Future Simon pulled the door open between his doppleganger’s knocks and pushed past him without a word, running quickly to a bag in the corner.

Her Simon looked between his future self and Alisha twice, his mouth opening and closing. He turned back to her. “What happened?”

Alisha’s body had swung from one extreme to the next so quickly in the last ten minutes she could barely conjure an answer. “I— we were talking and—”

“You haven’t fucked each other in ***weeks***?!” Simon roared from the other side of the flat, glaring at them from a kneeling position on the floor while he searched through a black rucksack she hadn’t seen earlier. The tips of her Simon’s ears turned berry red instantly.

“What does that have to do with anything?” Alisha called out, walking past her Simon and into the open room. Her Simon followed behind her.

“It has to do with everything. It’s everything!” Future Simon said, his voice equal parts exasperated and anxious. He pulled out a device that shone silver on one side and gleamed black on the other.

She glanced back at her Simon and he at her, and they were each too embarassed to say a word. Where had that come from? Embarassment about this fact? About them?

“Nononono…” Future Simon was up now, pacing with the strange device in hand.

“What do you have there?” Her Simon lurched forward, attempting to grab the device from his counterpart’s hand. Future Simon was clearly upset, but he was more the ninja that his past self; he danced out of Simon’s reach without as much as a glance, twisting his body away and onto a new trajectory as he paced.

“This is right awful, mate. Bad.” Future Simon was fiddling with a knob and shaking his head, walking back and forth and speaking mostly to himself. “Proper fucked we are.” He coughed out a dry laugh. “Or not, as it may be.”

At that comment a fresh wave of heat and color blossomed up her Simon’s collar and into his face. He looked like he might implode from this public conversation about their sex life. Alisha wasn’t mortified the way that her partner was, but even she was fidgeting in the sudden exposure of the conversation. She hadn’t meant to hide this, but she clearly wanted it hidden.

“What does the frequency of our shagging have to do with whatever you’re holding in your hands?” she finally exclaimed, rubbing her arms. Her Simon was keeping his distance from her but he looked like a ball of discomfort.

Future Simon turned to them and watched them both, then shook his head urgently. “If you’re not fucking like rabbits, then this isn’t my past. This isn’t how I remember it. Which means my future isn’t safe. And neither is yours.”

 


	5. Chapter 5

Alisha couldn’t help it. She burst out into peals of laughter. Both Simons gave her an identical look that was a mixture of displeasure and shock. She rubbed at her eyes, which had started stinging from the ridiculousness of Future Simon’s words, the stress of the past few weeks, the strain of the day, or all of the above.

“It’s not funny!” Future Simon exclaimed, stepping towards them. As he moved, her Simon’s eyes glanced down at the device from the future and his mirror tucked it quickly into a pocket, sighing. “Alisha, love, it’s not funny.”

“It’s not? I’m sorry, are you hearing yourself? Our future isn’t safe if we’re not shagging our brains out? You’re mental!” She threw her hands up in the air. “Simon, isn’t he mental?” She turned to her Simon and he had gone still, except for his eyes, which glanced between them and over to the board on the wall. The board that his other Future self had curated to point to every moment, every event, every incident that required his intervention to come to pass.

When he turned back to her he didn’t hesitate before saying the words she never thought she’d hear.

“We’re broken, Alisha.”

The words fell onto the floor of the flat, bounced against its walls, and seemed to echo into the silence.

“Mate…” Future Simon whispered, wincing.

“Broken?” Her eyelids fluttered and the tears burned, but they did not fall. “You think we’re...broken?”

Her Simon shrugged. “Aren’t we?”

Alisha was always extra careful when handling glasses at the bar; she had a quiet paranoia that one day a glass would break or shatter, and the shards would somehow make it into a patron’s drink. Mostly, she had a fear of that experiencing it herself. The experience of accidentally swallowing sharp, small blades of broken glass. It had never happened, but she imagined her insides would feel just like they did just now, as she stood in the center of her boyfriend’s flat and heard him cast their relationship into the bin. She could tell that her lip was trembling. Felt her fingers shake.

Shamefully, something in her stomach began to curdle from pain to anger. Her power didn’t cause harm anymore, and she hadn’t used her sexuality to control men in ages, powers or not, and yet something inside of her wanted to reach out and hurt someone because she was hurting. Not Simon. No. Not ever.

But something.

Someone.

She had to leave.

She was halfway to the lift before Future Simon leapt between her, spreading his arms wide behind before before she could reach for the handle.

“Get out of my way.” It wasn’t quite a threat, as he was taller and much stronger than she was, but she put the anger and hurt into her eyes the best that she could and she saw her lover flinch.

“Alisha. Love. Please don’t go.”

“Why? You heard him. We’re done here.”

“That’s not what he said.”

“Fucking hell, man, let me out,” she ground out. All of the sudden it was all too much and never, never, ever enough. She’d had enough of wishing that Superhoodie was alive. Enough of the memory of scrambling to obey his last wishes. To burn him. Burn a human. Burn _her_ human. Had enough of watching him become himself, knowing that he’d die if he succeeded. Had enough of teaching him to love her, because she desperately needed him to, when he didn’t know how. She wished she could push against him. Fight him. “Let me out!” she screamed into his face and this time he didn’t flinch.

  
Future Simon shook his head. “No.”

“Let me GO!”

“I won’t. I won’t let you go, Alisha.” He dropped his arms and took a measured step towards her until his knuckles were lightly stroking her face. The tears had fallen at some point, because she felt the dampness against his fingers and her cheek. “I never will and I never could.”

“You heard him,” she whimpered, and a sob wrenched itself from her mouth.

“I know, love,” Simon whispered, hushing her. “I know.”

He pulled her into the circle of his arms and, even though her pain and anger, she fell against this Simon’s frame, burying her head in the crook of a familiar shoulder. “He didn’t mean it like that. He didn’t mean what he said. He’s just scared.”

“What?” she said, gasping between her second and third sobs.

“He’s scared,” Future Simon repeated, pressing a hand over her curls and turning his fingers inwards to stroke her scalp. “That’s all.”

“Scared of what?” she asked, quietly into his shoulders, leather and the Thames filling her nose and mouth. She wished she could burrow into this Simon.

“You, of course.” The soft chuckle was gentle, soothing, and not at all mocking.

She pulled back and regarded him. They were standing so close now that she wasn’t sure if her Simon could even hear them, unless he was close. She couldn’t bring herself to look at her Simon.

“You don’t know that?” he whispered, stroking a hand against her temple.

She sniffed, the initial rage of her flight ebbing away, replaced by confusion and fresh comfort from the Simon holding her tightly. She shook her head.

“Ah. Well that does change things.” Simon glanced over her head and she guessed that he was regarding his past self. He made a sort of low clucking sound; she’d heard her Simon make the same when considering a particularly difficult puzzle. He drew his eyes back down to hers and there was a flash of something mischevious, something determined, and something...eager...in the depths of blue. “Do you trust me, Alisha?”

“What?”

He pressed his lips to her forehead and then to her temple, where his fingers had just been. “Do you trust me?”

“Yes,” she responded, basking in the warmth of his arms and mouth on her skin. “Yes. Not sure about him at the moment.”

He frowned but his eyes were laughing. “Understood. But if you trust me, then I can get to work.”

“Wha—” She didn’t have a chance to speak before he took both of her hands in his own and tugged, walking backwards deeper into the flat and away from the doors.

“Come on, love. Let’s fix this together.”


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you, everyone, for your patience! Of course other deadlines and life took over my fic writing time, but I'm back for the moment and wanted to update!

Alicia allowed Future Simon to walk her back to into the kitchen, where her Simon had perched moodily on one of the bar stools. He was eyed them as they approached and when she reached the counter his gaze lingered on her hands in his counterpart’s grasp, but only for a moment. He didn’t look scared, she thought, but he didn’t look happy or triumphant or cruel or full of rage, either. She couldn’t read him. Back to that again. Like they were strangers.

Future Simon stood between them and freed his right hand, but kept his left in hers. He tsk-tsked at them both. “It’s clear that whatever is going on with you both is in dire need of facilitation in order to resolve. Luckily for you, I know you both very well and am, far and away, the best person to help.”

“Facilitation?!” Her Simon scoffed. Annoyance. Definitly annoyance. “For what exactly?”

Future Simon muttered something to himself that neither of them could quite catch before he sighed heavily as if carrying a great burden.

“Listen…” he began, stepping in to face her more closely. At first she thought he was speaking to her, but then he continued as he leaned in, tipping her chin up with his index finger, “I’m not your enemy, mate. I’m you.”

And with that, Future Simon snogged her to within an inch of her life

There had never been any reason to consider other kisses after that first kiss with Superhoodie in the flat. That one kiss had raised the bar such that she barely remembered the wet mashing of lips and collision of teeth and drunken, drugged make-out sessions she’d had with men before. (With far, far too many men before.) The memories of old kisses were there, of course, but they were unnecessary. The Simon kisses after that first could only be compared to one another and they were all, in their own way, stirring, special, arousing. Her lover knew how to hold his lips just so, knew how to caress her tongue just so, knew how to hold her lips tightly, nibble, release. It was shades of bliss, but all good. Always tingly. Nothing like she thought kissing could be before she’d kissed Simon.

But this kiss.

This kiss.

This kiss was not just good, not just great, and it did not tingle.

It seared.

Future Simon’s hands had moved up each side of her jaw and his thumbs were stroking her cheekbones. He breathed deeply as he slanted his head to the side and she knew, just knew, he was drinking her in. He was _consuming_ her. And she wanted to pour all that she could into her lips, into her mouth, into him. He asked, and she answered, again, and again, and again. His hips had drawn close to hers and every sensation-- from the press of his thighs to her thighs, to the subtle shifting of his knee between hers-- left her trembling and silently asking for more.

 

“Oi!” Her Simon’s voice was closer than it had been earlier. If Alisha hadn’t kept such a tight grip on the front of Future’s t-shirt, his leap backwards would have separated them entirely. He’d moved quickly and without hesitation as soon as his past self had deemed fit to intervene.

Almost as if he had been waiting for it.

“Yeah, mate,” Future was confident, but not cocky. His breathing had picked up and his cheeks had gone rosey-peach. Again, his eyes were for Alisha, but his words were for his double. “Had enough watching?”

Her Simon ignored his double. “Alisha, you alright?” He touched her shoulder and she turned to face him as she swayed on her feet. It had been too long since her Simon had touched her like that and her body was...in deep want. His eyes were concerned and kind, not at all filled with the annoyance that he’d expressed earlier. She watched the recognition flash across his face as he registered that she was buzzing with desire that he had not created. He inhaled sharply.

“Yeah, I’d say she’s better than alright,” Future Simon laughed. She heard his voice over her shoulder, closer than before. He was standing right behind her without touching her. “Of course, there’s only one way for you to know for sure. What’s she’s feeling right now, that is. And what she feels like.”

Alisha watched her Simon’s eyes flicker up to his double and back to her own. She watched him wrestle with the decision his double had just challenged him to make. The gauntlet that had just been thrown down sat heavy between them and Alisha knew somehow, even without the rules having ever been set, that she had to wait.

She hoped he chose her.

Her Simon’s tongue darted out, pink and quick, over his lips and her body responded with a flood of heat. She let her jaw go slack and watched his eyes pass over her mouth, swollen and shiny from kissing his other self. He took a step forward and guided his hands up to her ribcage, thumbs brushing just the underside of her breasts.

“Are you alright?” he asked, stepping forward again. “Are you okay?”

His question was no longer about what _had_ happened, she realized. It was about what was about to happen. He wanted to know if she was okay with _this._ Whatever this was, whatever it might become.

Alisha didn’t know what the night might become for any of them. But she knew she loved Simon. And this...this break between them...wasn’t getting better with words. It wasn’t getting better _without_ words, either. This was something in between words and no words. And that between had always been the best with them. This was true and real, even when things were confusing. At least it used to be.

She believed it could be again.

“Yes.” She nodded and he let out a sigh of relief. She never wanted Simon to be worried or scared or harmed. She wanted them both happy. And alive. His fingers clenched softly into that material of her shirt, but he didn’t pull himself forward and neither did she step towards him.

A very quiet scoff from behind her. Future Simon pressed a gentle palm into the space between her shoulder blades and she followed the suggestion, stepping into Simon’s embrace until his mouth fell to hers and claimed it fully.

Her Simon’s lips were warm and soft, nothing like the flame of Future’s. Either Future’s. But he didn’t move without intention. His fingers stroked a slow path above the wire of her bra, back and forth, and the first dip of his tongue into her mouth was timed perfectly with his step forward in between her legs. Her Simon. Always so careful. So methodical.

Kissing him felt a bit like coming home. She threw her arms around his neck and sighed into his mouth, relaxing into his arms. It’d been weeks since she’d felt this warmth from him.

It was almost like he’d read her thoughts, because as soon as she felt her body melt into his chest, he drew back, rested his forehead on hers. His breath was coming quickly. More quickly than hers.

“What is it?” she whispered, shaking her head. “Did I do something wrong?” She tried to peer up into his eyes, but they were screwed shut. He shook his head. Her heart sunk and she made as if to step back, or ask another question, but the hand at the back of her spine flattened into a warm palm and a low voice met her ear.

“Again.”

Alisha gnawed on her lip, but threw caution to the wind. She dragged a hand down her Simon’s throat and chest, touching him where she knew he liked. His eyes were closed, but his breathing had slowed slightly during their pause. It picked up again as she trailed a hand down his sternum and to his stomach.

She leaned in and pressed her lips to the pulse point on his throat and opened her mouth against his slightly salty skin. He moaned and she felt the vibrations in her mouth, rumble around her ears, and involuntarily, her own moan rose up in response. Instantly, two sets of hands moved on her body.

Her Simon moved both of his palms up to hold her breasts and the hands at her back dropped down to her waist, squeezing and massaging. She kissed a path from Simon’s throat to his jaw, gave the stubble there a gentle lick, and when her mouth closed over his again his thumbs stroked her nipples through her bra. A moment later a hand from behind lifted her hair up and to the side and a pair of lips ghosted against the back of her neck. She felt Future’s hips press slowly into her arse, felt the warm length of him nestled between her flesh, and her entire frame shuddered at the sensation.

Which is exactly when her Simon stepped back, hands dropping. The sudden movement and loss hit her like a punch.

Future’s hands never left her hips and his....well. Alisha noticed that stayed put, too.

“Wha--what are you doing?!” Her Simon was aghast, angry, flushed. Surprised? She didn’t understand.

She opened her mouth to respond to him, but the hand at her hip squeezed her so tightly that she gasped.  
“That question was for me, love.” Future brought his chin round to rest on her right shoulder and she could feel the warmth of his cheek against hers and smell his shampoo. She knew without seeing a mirror the image they made; he was draped around her so tightly that she could feel the pulse in his cock against her arse. The hand that had been holding her hair up trailed down her shoulder and began to stroke the skin on her right forearm, and places deep in Alisha’s stomach began to warm and go liquid. He murmured, “She loves you, mate. Which is why she loves me. That’s what we’re doing.”

“That’s not what I meant,” Simon growled, dark gaze watching Future’s fingers as they drifted up to her elbow, fluttering over her bicep. “I thought you were trying to...help us.”

Future’s hand paused on her upper arm, fingers dangerously close to her breast. Alisha knew he was doing it on purpose. Knew that Simon’s eyes couldn’t stay away from his double’s caresses over her body. Alisha could see the fury growing in her normally quiet partner’s face, but there was something else there, too. Jealousy, yes. Frustration, definitely.

But also…

Curiosity?

Yes.

He was interested as much as he was angry. Could that be right?

The small flame in her belly flared upwards and she did everything in her power not to moan at the thought. This was not her moment. The men needed to talk. She needed to not orgasm on the spot. She could do that. She could.

It became infinitely harder to convince herself that she could do so when Future’s hands lifted and his palm hovered over her nipple. He nuzzled his chin into her neck and inhaled, sighing against her body.

_Oh, God._

“Is this not helping us? All of us?” Future said, finally dropping his hand to squeeze her breast gently, thumb above her nipple and fingers below. She glanced down and knew that that he was touching her strategically. He wasn’t just holding her breast. He was presenting it to her lover. Presenting _her_. Enticing Simon. He tweaked her nipple. Her core spasmed and her breath came in pants that she hoped were quiet, but the chuckle at her ear said it hadn’t been subtle at all. “Do you hear her, mate? Hear her breathing? I can. I can feel her entire body and it’s _shaking_. She wants you. She wants me. She wants us both. And the only reason I can do this to her is because _you_ can.”

“But I’m not doing this to her! You are!” Simon looked away before she could see his expression, but she heard his voice crack as he muttered. “I...I can’t.”

“Bollux!” Future called out and Alisha felt her knees begin to tremble, but she refused to drop away from the man behind her.

Future was angry now, his fingers digging into her hip sharply, the hand at her chest falling back to her waist. “Straight bollux, mate. You can’t be jealous of yourself. And you can’t fight what was done, whatever was done!” Her Simon looked back to them now, but his eyes were for his double. “I know there are things you want her to know, but you can’t say. I know there are things that she’s done that you won’t talk about. But we are all us, brother. We love her. No matter what, no matter when, we love _her_.”

Tears pricked at her eyes at this admission. This argument they were having around her, through her, about her was the most surreal experience she’d ever had. And that was counting the time traveling boyfriend. But the look on Simon’s face. Her Current Simon’s face…it was the most real, felt moment she’d had in a long time.

“Please.”

Both men froze and looked towards her. She hadn’t intended to say anything. She’d been relying on Future to get through to him. But the whispered word had left her lips before the thought had fully crossed her mind.

“Please, Simon. I know I’ve messed up before. I know we’re...difficult. That **I’m** difficult. And messed up. And messy. But I also know that...that I know _you_. I want _you_.” Her Simon’s eyes softened and his mouth parted, and so she added, “Forever.”

It took him two steps to reach her and cradle her face in his hands, his head shaking. “No. No.”

“What?” she gasped, her heart preparing to shatter. He kissed her swiftly, briefly, and pulled back, his blue eyes looking over her face as if he hadn’t seen her in a long while.

“You’re not messed up and messy. No more than I am, at least,” he smiled, brushing a thumb across her bottom lip. “You’re _wonderful_ , Alisha. You’re...more than I deserve. I love you. Please never doubt that I love you, no matter what you’ve done or what I’ve done.” He rested his forehead against her and sighed. “I just feel like I haven’t earned you yet.”

“‘Earned me’?” she whispered incredulously. “Simon, you...you have saved me so many times, in so many ways.”

“I...that…” he began again, with a sigh, but Future cleared his throat, his arms curling around her waist on both sides. Her Simon glanced up, but she saw that the anger had left his face. “Yes?”

They were all standing so close now, that Alisha could feel the press of heat from both of their bodies against her front and back. It was enough of a reminder of their recent activity that her stomach did a flip.

“Don’t mean to interrupt —-”

“Yes, you did.” Her Simon snapped back with more amusement than malice.

Future huffed a laugh. “Oh, yes, of course I did. I’d just like to perhaps highlight an opportunity. One that you have tonight. Right here, right now”

Simon raised an eyebrow in question to his double. “An opportunity to...?”

From behind her, Future’s hands stretched outwards across the final few inches that separated Alisha’s body from Simon’s and grasped at Simon’s shirt, pulling his body flush to hers. Simon’s eyes widened at the motion, but he didn’t resist. He trembled against her stomach and chest and hips, and she felt the beginnings of his erection press against her low belly. Her Simon’s eyes dropped down to hers and she knew he’d felt her, too.

“Earn her.”


	7. Chapter 7

Alisha’s heart raced in her chest. The air had been thick and complicated before, but now it felt clear as a bell. And with that clarity came the alarming reality that she and her two Simons were about to do something she’d never done before. And something, as far as she knew, neither of them had done before. She wondered if she should make the first move, but she needn’t have worried. Her Simon’s mouth came crashing down on hers and it was not familiar, or sweet. It was urgent and desperate and determined and she took all of it, her arms immediately wrapping around his shoulders and neck, her finger thrusting into his hair.

His hands pulled at her shirt, guiding her backwards towards the bed, but the three of them stumbled with the movement among too many legs. Simon had to step backwards and the only reason Alisha didn’t tumble forward was Future, wrapping an arm around her waist.

“Ah, you two go ahead,” he laughed, giving her neck a quick nuzzle with his nose before letting her go. “I’ll get the lights.”

Simon grasped her hands this time and gave her a soft kiss and for a moment it was just the two of them, like it had been just twenty-four hours ago. “I love you so much,” he whispered against her mouth. “Are you okay with this?”

She nodded and when he examined her face a second more she said aloud, “Yes. I want this. Are...are you okay?”

He kissed her knuckles, one hand at a time, before looking up at the suddenly darker room and his double in the background, locking the door and turning off the light outside the flat that might signal to one of their friends that someone was home. He turned back to her and smiled. “Yes.”

Alisha turned them in the warm, low lamp light of the apartment, and pulled at his hand, leading both of them to the bed. She stood at the foot with him and they looked over the rumpled grey sheets. Simon’s bed was large, thank goodness, but she didn’t know how it would fit the three of them. The very thought sent a rush of warm tightness across her belly, and she bit her lip. “How do we…?”

Future stepped up behind them and said, “You two need help getting started?”

“Uhm,” Alisha said.

“No.” Simon’s voice was firm.

And yet neither of them moved.

Future made as if to keep talking, but Alisha was already crawling onto the bed, following an instinct that she hoped was right. She took her time getting to the pillows against the wall, fully aware that her jeans-clad ass was high, pert, and the only thing that they could possibly look at. Once she reached the end of the mattress, she flipped over and leaned against the pillows. Future’s amused gaze appraised her, his arms crossed over his chest. Her Simon’s eyes, however, were hungry and traveling up her legs to her breasts. She took the opportunity to stretch her arms high above her, knowing full well that the thin navy jumper was stretching across both breasts, outlining them for her audience. She stifled a giggle at the identical response from both men: they’d started at her chest and then, each of them, been drawn to the stretch of skin now revealed at her waistband. Future shifted his weight, in a gesture she’d seen Simon do when his arousal started to make his pants uncomfortable.

_Oh. This was going to be fun._

Deciding to continue the show, Alisha dropped her palms to her thighs, curling her fingers deeply into the tight denim. Their eyes followed as she dragged her fingers up slowly until they reached the tops of her pockets and the edge of her jumper. She played with the fabric there, watching their blue eyes and seeing her Simon shift his weight, too. Then, she slowly, slowly pulled the fabric up her belly, up to her ribs, and paused with it at her bra. Future licked his lips. She pulled the shirt up over her bra and hair and tossed it to the side, and then leaned forward, crawling back to them on her knees. Each movement was measured and slow, not just so that they could see her cleavage and the top of her breasts peeking over the black lace of her bra, but so she could watch them, too.

She watched their eyes travel her body and her skin. It reminded herself that she had a lover — two — that wanted her as she was and as she would be.

It was also the most deliberately erotic thing she’d ever done and she felt so fucking powerful. More powerful than when she’d had her first ability, more powerful than before then, more powerful than ever.

When she reached them, she sat back and up on her knees. They were both breathing hard, she could see, and watching her. Waiting.

She didn’t want to have to choose, but she wasn’t brave enough to say it out loud. She silently urged them to just see it in her and know. She hoped they saw it in her eyes. Saw it in the way that she looked back and forth between them, making plain, she hoped, the eagerness and desire she felt for them both. She stole a glance down at both of their jeans and involuntarily licked her lips when she realized that they were each equally straining against the fabric; the sight made her shiver with pleasure. Her Simon’s fingers twitched at his sides and that’s when she realized.

They needed her to make the first move. It was two of them. And one of her.

Before she could second guess herself, she reached out with both hands and laid a set of fingers across the top of each of their jean zippers. Something like a sigh and gasp escaped from their mouths and she didn’t know which came from which Simon. She widened her fingers and pressed the palms flat against the bulges and they both gasped this time, each giving an almost identical buck against her hand. Her fingers pulled at the top of their jeans, pulling them towards her and that was all either of them needed.

* * *

After the men had stripped themselves of their t-shirts, Alisha had lost track which set of hands were touching her.

Ten minutes after that she was on her side when she felt the release of her bra clasp— that was the Simon behind her. The straps were drawn forward and over her shoulders and the bra tossed away— that was the Simon in front. The man behind her was trailing hot kisses down her shoulder and spine, licking a path to her neck and then grazing his teeth against the tender spots that joined her shoulder and throat. The man in front was watching her face as he rubbed both of her nipples between his fingers and thumbs, a smirk on his lips as she moaned and writhed.

Her body had become hard to control, hard to manage; she didn’t know how her right hand ended up twisted back in the hair of the Simon behind her or when the Simon in front had managed to find her left thumb and suck on it, his tongue lapping at her. She groaned as the one behind her dug his fingers into her arse through her jeans.

“The best sound in the world, innit?” The Simon behind her chuckled and that comment, if nothing else, made it clear he was Future.

Her Simon released her thumb with a pop and licked at his lower lip. “Almost.” His tone was wry and knowing, and Alisha barely registered that he was tugging at the button of her jeans, pulling it free and draggint the zipper down.

“Almost?” Future murmured, his fingers finding their way around her chest and taking a handful of each breast, rolling the nipples while he continued sucking on her pulse.

She didn’t hear either man speak, but all of the sudden they were in concert. Future rolled her over so that he was fully under her and she was stretched out above him. He tweaked a nipple, hard, and she cried out, illiciting a low grumble from him against her back. Simultaneously, her Simon was pulling her jeans down over her thighs, tugging them past her knees, and discarding them. Future used the opportunity to hook his feet against the inside of hers and then spread both of their legs until she was open wide against him.

And open wide for her Simon, who was standing at the end of the bed, smirking like the cat who’d gotten the cream.

Future shimmied upwards until he was leaning up against the wall and Alisha was mostly in his lap, her head resting against his bare shoulder. His hands hadn’t left her breasts and nipples. She turned to him but he only gave her a small, mischevous grin. She turned back to her Simon, who had dropped one knee onto the mattress and was staring down at her knickers.

“I can see how wet you are, Alisha,” her Simon murmured. She squirmed, flushing across her cheeks and chest, but Future held her tight. Simon crawled up the bed until he was kneeling between her legs and then lowered a hand until the backs of his knuckles grazed her through the damp cotton. He passed across her once, twice, three times and she was shaking. “So wet already.”

Future was stroking her arms up and down now, kissing the tops of her ears and neck. She had a feeling he was watching Simon as much as she was, but was choosing to let him lead. She wasn’t nervous, exactly, but she had never felt so...surrounded in bed before. The pleasure and heat behind her was still very present. Even if Future was taking a backseat, his cock hadn’t gotten the message. It pressed up against her low back even through his pants.

“Touch her.” Both Alisha and Future’s head’s snapped up. His eyes were lidded, but his voice made it clear his order was non negotiatible. “See for yourself.”

Simon had gone from uncertain, hesitant, but aroused and enthusiastic, to something else entirely. She could tell that Future hadn’t been expecting this from the way that his hands squeezed her forearms slightly before his right hand drifted down her stomach to nudge at the elastic.

“Above the knickers for now,” Simon commanded, and Future’s hand changed course, ghosting over her mound to press against her opening through the fabric.

“She’s soaking,” Future whispered, the moan barely smothered. His fingers pulsed against her once and rubbed once, then left her. He raised his hand up to her face and she knew that if she could smell her arousal on his fingers, then so could he. He held his fingers in front of her mouth and the two Simons must have made eye contact, because her Simon nodded and Future whispered, “Taste yourself, love. Please.”

Every hair on Alisha’s body felt electric for someone’s touch— anyone’s touch. She’d been prepared for caresses and friction and fingers and more, but she hadn’t been prepared for what was happening between the two Simons tonight. She dipped her head to take both of his fingers into her mouth and moaned at the salty heat and slick of them. The cock at her spine pressed hard and she closed her eyes to feel it and feel the fingers now moving deep to the second knuckle inside of her mouth.

When she opened her eyes her Simon had taken his jeans off and was holding his erection through his boxers, grasping it tightly and watching her. Watching them.

He made eye contact with her for a moment, his gaze heated and heavy, and kneeled down on the bed to pull her wet knickers off over her hips and knees. She sucked on the fingers in her mouth and moaned, and Future twisted a nipple, which caused her hips to buck. Her Simon pressed a hand into each thigh, pushing her back to the mattress as he dropped his head and licked a path up her opening from bottom to clit. She keened around Future’s fingers and he pushed a third one into her mouth while Simon began licking and pressing his tongue against her, holding her thighs tight as she tried to move with him. He thrust his tongue into her and then moved his mouth up to her clit, swirling against it. She reached a hand towards him but Future grabbed it, and pulled it back to his own hair instead. She grabbed the tendrils there and yanked as Simon laved her with his tongue over and over. When Simon pressed two fingers inside of her, she sucked on Future’s in her mouth in response, and within a second the sensation of the two of them inside of her body sent her over the edge.

Alisha cried out around Future’s fingers in her mouth as Simon continued to finger fuck her through her orgasm. The fingers in her mouth left her and she watched in a daze as Future reached down to grasp Simon’s head and hold his double’s mouth to her as Simon licked and stroked, licked and stroked. That sight alone might have contributed to the approaching second orgasm, the feeling of tightening like she might come again, even though her hypersensitivity made it seem impossible. They stayed that way for a few more minutes until Alisha dropped a trembling hand to Simon’s shoulder, tapping him lightly. As if in sync, Future’s hand left Simon’s hair and Simon pulled away. He kissed her inner thighs, once on each side, and sat up to kneeling, his chest heaving with his breath. Alisha’s eyes were lidded and her body felt like liquid honey, loose, flowing, relaxed and she still found a way to blush under his gaze.

“ _That’s_ the best sound in the world, mate,” Simon said quietly and not without arrogance. She could feel and hear Future’s laughter and the warmth spread between the two of them and then the three of them until it felt like safety and home and a holiday all at once. She let out a giggle and turned in Future’s lap, snuggling against his arm and chest. He squeezed her in a hug and tucked her under his chin.

“Going to sleep now, love?” Future whispered, stroking her arm. “Already?”

“Naw,” Alisha turned her head upwards to face him. “Just felt so good.” She looked back at Simon, who had cocked his head to stare at them both, his mouth still glistening with her in the dim light of the flat. “All of it. Us.”

“Mmm,” Future replied, nuzzling her curls.

Simon moved up the bed towards them and propped himself on what was usually her pillow until he was comfortably on his side, head resting on his hand facing her. He dropped a light hand to her ribs and walked his fingers down her side and hip. “Do you want more of us?” he asked, voice thoughtful.

“Yes,” she breathed.

“Now?” he whispered.

“Yes.”

Future’s hand stroked her hair. “How?” he asked, and her body tensed.

She knew they both felt her reaction, but she was glad that they didn’t stop their caresses, didn’t push her. Only the slight line between her Simon’s brows indicated he was concerned, and yet he waited. They both waited while her brain spun out of its post-orgasm fog into a stream of images of them with her, images of her and her Simon from a few moments ago, and even, to her anguish, a brief image of a time with Superhoodie Simon, long ago.

How did she want the rest of the night to go? How _could_ it go? Was there another Alisha out in the timeline who knew how to answer that question?

She decided to start simple and go from there. And just be herself.

“I want to touch the cock that’s been digging into my back on and off for the past hour,” she blurted.

Her Simon snickered and beamed at her. Future tensed this time and sputtered, “Sorry about that….”

Alisha squeezed his thigh and turned, looking up at his face above her in laughter, “I’m sure you’re not!”

“I am!” he cried, attempting an innocent face and failing. “Not that I’m complaining about you wanting to touch it or anything—-”

“Course not,” Simon interjected.

“Utterly ridiculous!” Alisha sat up and turned around, sitting back on her heels. They both turned to her and she watched their eyes drop to her bare breasts and thighs.

“What’s utterly ridiculous?” Future asked, frowning. “That I want you to touch my—”

“That you’re both still wearing clothing and I’m the only one that’s naked!” she exclaimed, in mock anger. “And you! You’re still in _jeans_ and because of your raging jeans hard on I probably have a zipper mark dug into my back. Take ‘em off!”

The both glanced at one another, amused and entertained, clearly. Her Simon surprised her by saying, “You heard the lady,” and sitting up and into a cross-legged position.

“Fine!” Future said, crawling off the bed, hands already at the button. It was the first time she’d seen his bare back and she noticed that it had a fair number more muscles defined than her current Simon. Whenever he was from, his body had continued to gain muscle and mass. And then he turned and that’s when she saw the scar. It looked like lightning had ripped a jagged, twisting path down one shoulderblade and ending at his left lower ribs.

It looked like he’d almost been ripped open.

“What happened?” Her Simon asked first, eyes alert on his double.

“What?” Future asked, still smiling as he pulled down his jeans.

Alisha whispered, “Your scar.”

Future paused and the air in the room went cold for just a moment as he regarded them. His face took on the same look he’d had earlier during their guessing game.

“Pass.”

“No, no pass!” Alisha exclaimed. “Is that going to happen to him?”

“It looks worse than it is,” Future murmured, cocking his head to the side much as Simon had a few moments ago. “I promise.”

“Is that going to happen to him?” Alisha pressed again, but her Simon squeezed her shoulder and shook his head.

“He can’t answer. He shouldn’t.”

“But—” Alisha looked between the two of them, but Future was already leaning over to touch her cheek, shaking his head just like his mirror had.

“I don’t have much time here, love. We change what we can, we live with what we can’t, and we enjoy the moments we have,” he whispered, holding her chin lightly. “Yes? Please?”

Alisha humphed, clearly outnumbered. “Yes.”

He paused a moment, kissed her forehead lightly, and leaned back to stand again, pulling his boxers down.

She hated being the type of person who would get distracted by a naked man in front of her, but she was only a woman deeply in love with that same man. And deeply missing his body. Even with the slight conversational detour into maiming and future timelines, his cock was straight at attention, curving back slightly. He saw her studying it and gave her a small grin as he bent down on the bed again and met her on her knees. She regarded him, still feeling a bit of fight buzzing in her veins, and he shook his head, smiling. He held both of her hands in front of him and kissed her knuckles. “I love you.”

“I love you, too,” Alisha murmured.

_And I love him. And I don’t want anything to harm you._

“Will you touch me, Alisha?” he asked quietly, pressing a warm mouth to each of her palms. “I’d love for you to touch me.”

Alisha felt the fight leave her body as her affection and arousal and his love flooded in to replace it.

“Yes.”


	8. Chapter 8

A few minutes later, Alisha wondered if, given the strange time-traveling opportunity, anyone else would find that intimacy with their partner from a few years in the future felt different from intimacy in their current time. Or if that was just her and Simon, considering there were superpowers, villains, and ninja superheroes in _their_ particular romantic history. She didn’t know for sure, but she did know that being naked with Superhoodie had not been the exact same as being with her Current Simon, and being with Future now wasn’t the same as being with Current Simon months ago. In fact, being with Current Simon months ago hadn’t even been like being with Current Simon tonight.

How could one person feel so different in bed? How could one person arouse and stimulate her body in so many different ways?

“You’re overthinking it again,” Future murmured, kissing down her neck and shoulders, working his way to her breasts.

“No, ‘m not,” she gasped, as he took one nipple into his mouth, wrapping his lips as far as he could around her aureole and breast. He made a muffled sound of disagreement and sucked until it almost hurt. It was splendid.

“Yes. You are.” Future lifted a wry eyebrow as he set his chin on her sternum. “I can tell.”

“Even I can tell,” Simon muttered. He was still in his boxers and had been quietly watching watching them from the side, one elbow up on a raised knee.

“Quiet, you,” Alisha snapped, but he tugged on one of her curls and smiled. Future pulled her attention back to him when he set to work on her other breast and, this time, biting her nipple lightly. She hissed, but held his head to her chest. He hummed happily and did it again and her knees shook a little. His hand dropped to her waist and began reaching for the curls between her legs, but she batted it away. “No. I told you what I wanted and you’ve distracted me.”

He chuckled and turned, flopping onto his back with his head on the pillow and his hands behind his head. Her eyes traveled his body until they rested on her goal. His erection stood upright and she saw the droplets of pre-cum that had run down his head. Her mouth went a bit dry at the sight and the smug look on his face.

She glanced up at her Simon, who only had eyes for her now. Should she ask him first? If she...if she could….

“Nothing you do with us tonight will hurt me.” Simon’s voice was low and insistent and his eyes shone just for her. He glanced down at his counterpart for a fleeting second and looked back up at her, color flushing his cheeks, and for a moment he was her very first Simon again, and not the others that came after. The Simon who stuttered and disappeared and not been able to talk to women. He swallowed once and began again. “I...I want to watch.”

“You do?!” Alisha knew her eyes must have widened into the largest saucers possible.

“He does.” Future Simon winked at her knowingly and she looked between the two of them. He didn’t seem to be phased by his double’s admission and that sort of made sense. He knew himself, didn’t he?

Oh.

Oh.

That changed some things.

She flashed back to a memory of herself, arrogant and teasing, demonstrating what she could do to a plastic bottle in the rec center. Back before powers and death and running for their lives. She’d done it for all of the guys that day, Curtis, Nathan, and Simon. To rile them up. But Simon’s eyes, his gulp as he watched her, had been the most intriguing. Now she knew why.

Grinning, Alisha caged Future’s waist with her arms and dropped her mouth to his hipbone, licking and sucking at the sensitive skin there, knowing full well that he loved it. He shifted under her hands, but didn’t move. She licked a line down his hipbone and started on the other side as well, studiously avoiding his groin. He sighed above her and she glanced up just to see his eyes closing.

When she took him in her hand the groan he released was so sexy that she felt herself clench at the sound. He felt familiar in her palm, although their foreplay didn’t typically last as long as it had tonight, so his cock was practically hot to the touch and hard as steel. She squeezed him and licked from base to tip before taking him in her mouth.

“Alishaaa….” He released her name on an jagged exhale and she smiled, pleased with how undone he already was. But she didn’t want him to come yet, and so she only dropped her head once, twice, three times, drawing her lips along his shaft and then pulling away. She held him in her fist and slipped up and down the length of him until his hips were rising off the bed and his breath came in desperate pants and she heard the beginnings of “Please” leave his lips.

“Not yet,” she whispered, releasing him and crawling over his body. His eyes were on her now and he held her upper arms while he rose up to catch her mouth, murmuring half-started words of praise and worship between kisses.

She sat back and rocked against him as his tongue explored her mouth. She rode her wetness along the underside of him, pressing his erection against his stomach without letting him to her entrance. He bucked against her, digging fingers into her hipbones and pulling at her thighs.

Even though she hadn’t looked at him directly, she knew that her Simon was watching them both. She felt his eyes on her body, could tell that he’d shifted positions and was sitting back on his heels watching them. She knew he was watching and wanted to give her lover a show.

Alisha reached up to her breasts and began kneading them as she rocked. Future’s jaw went slack as he raked his eyes over her. She pulled at her nipples and shivered in genuine pleasure when Future groaned. He lifted her hips a bit and angled her so that he could thrust up against her clit and when he found her she gasped and her head fell back at the sensation of the head of him pressing and sliding against her. They pulsed against one another and the growing coil of heat and arousal in her stomach started twisting towards orgasm.

“Please….” Future ground out, the muscles in his chest corded with the effort of thrusting upwards, but not sliding home the way she knew he wanted. Sweat dripped down her chest and back and she saw the shine of it across his brow and throat. She opened her mouth to respond to his plea, but he turned his head away from her and sought Simon. “Please,” he repeated, eyeing his double.

Alisha looked at Simon then, still on his heels. He’d pulled his erection through the front of his boxers and appeared to have been squeezing it between his thighs as he watched. His blue eyes, pupils blown wide, found Future’s and something passed between them as both men panted. Simon nodded and Future turned back to her in the next instant.

“Wha—?” Alisha barely made out before Future sat up, his cock pressed between their bodies. He kissed her before she could finish her sentence and bucked his hips up, sliding his erection against her wetness and his precum and their sweat.

“I’m going to fuck you now,” he whispered, his voice hoarse and deeper than usual with arousal. “If that’s alright with you.”

Alisha glanced at Simon and he was stroking himself now. He licked his lips and smiled at her and she turned back to the man in her arms and nodded. “Yes, please.” Future grinned.

He lifted her easily and positioned her over his cock, then at her nod brought her crashing down over him so hard that her vision went hazy with the impact and pleasure. They both moaned and stilled themselves. Her inner muscles fluttered around him and she could feel the pulse of his cock inside of her, eager and hot. “Fuuuuccccccck…” was all she could utter and he chuckled and nodded, his eyes closed. He filled her. He always filled her. This was no different, but this felt different. Something like tears stung at her eyes, but didn’t fall. She rocked against him once and couldn’t tell whose groan was whose. Future mirrored the motion and she could feel him nudging inside her, nestled deep. They were too close like this. Too deep. She’d never last. She pushed him backwards gently and he fell agaisnt the bed, probably having come to the same conclusion she had.

This was better. She could think straight now and move. She pulled herself up and away from him and then sank bank down and he hissed. She smiled and moved against him again, this time leaning forward so that she could kiss him as the thrust. He brough his hips up in perfect rhythm, meeting her when she came towards him, thrusting when she dropped, and she felt the beginnings of an orgasm in the base of her spine.

When Simon placed a hand onto her sacrum she twitched in surprise and looked back. Future was still rocking her against his cock, but he peered around her shoulder. Neither of them had seen him move off the bed.

Alisha sat up and her breath caught— even that motion had changed the angle of the man inside her into something new and good. “Simon…?” she began, but he moved forward on his knees, kissing her spine and shoulders until she turned to allow him greater access to her back. She didn’t notice it when his fingers found their way to the cleft of her arse until she felt them there, spreading her.

It wasn’t as if Alisha had never had anal before. She had. It had been fine, she supposed. Painful once, without enough lube. Sort of interesting a few times. Mildly pleasureable that one time with whathisname. But she and Simon— all, any of them —- had never done it. That being said, her Simon was nothing if not curious, prepared, researched, and so she wasn’t surprised exactly when she felt warm lube coating the skin between her cheeks, but her body tensed of its own volition and both men froze.

“Love?” Future asked quietly, a hand stroking her thighs and a line between his brow. “Are you—”

“Just a little caught off guard. I’m okay.”

“We don’t have to—” Simon began behind her, holding her waist with one hand and resting his chin on her shoulder as his future self had done earlier in the evening.

“No,” she breathed, turning so that she could see his face. “I want to. I’ve just never...not while….”

“Neither have we.” Future stroked her stomach, tracing invisible circles around her belly button. She could still feel him hard inside of her.

She kissed Simon and nodded. “Slow, okay?”

“Slow.” He nuzzled her cheek and kissed her shoulder and gently slid his hands between her flesh, working more lube into the skin and circling her until she sighed, relaxing. Future was stroking her thighs and palming her breasts, his fingertips trailed tenderly down her waist, massaging her hips and the muscles there. Again, they worked in concert. Simon’s finger was gentle and wet when he slipped inside of her and her body gave only a little resistance, spread and relaxed as she was. She leaned back against his chest, closed her eyes, and sighed as he worked his finger into her, circling to open her up. She felt him pull away, heard the cap of the lube, and felt him return again, this time slowly pushing a second finger inside of her. It was pleasant, the way he did it. Intimate. Soft.

He pressed a kiss against her shoulder and she felt him nod. Future reached up to her face then, stroking her cheek until she opened her eyes. “I’m going to move again, alright?” She nodded and felt him rock against her. He wasn’t as hard as he’d been at first, but he was again a few thrusts later and she felt him reaching the inside of her channel. This time he sucked on his thumb and then moved the wet digit against her clit and it all felt delicious.

She felt the blunt tip of Simon rest against her arse and slowed herself down until he grasped her waist. Future held still then and Simon spread her wide and nudged himself into her. This was more than his fingers and she felt herself squeak at the sensation. He froze, but before he said anything she leaned forward on her hands until she was eye to eye with Future, but still holding him within her body. Simon pressed forward again and this time he slid sinside of her slowly until he was hilted. Alisha’s jaw dropped at the sensation of the two of them inside her and she cursed and gasped.

“Okay?” someone asked and she nodded back.

“It’s just intense. It’s good.”

“I can feel both of you,” Future whispered and then reached up to kiss her mouth tenderly. As with before, he reached up behind her to hold Simon’s head as it rested on her shoulder. She felt Simon panting against her back and he moaned, moving back and forward again. Alisha felt her eyes roll back in her head.

Future thrust up slowly next and she thought she might black out with pleasure. He had been a tight fit before, but with Simon pressing against her from the other side, Future felt bigger, fuller, closer than before.

The rocked like that until there was a rhythm, with one thrusting and the other moving on the heels of the last until Alisha felt like she might die.

Or explode.

Or collapse.

What was it that stars did again? Supernova?

Hands were at her hips in multiple places and one hand— someone’s hand— was stroking lightly at her clit, circling it, teasing.

Another hand found her breast and pulled and squeezed until her nipple strained against his hand.

Her body was pure sensation and feeling, with them around her and in her and stimulating her everywhere. It was too much. Too much for one person. Was this how people died during sex?

The cock in her ass had sped up and the pull against her body somehow met the thrust of the cock inside her cunt and she screamed with the intensity.

Her orgasm shattered through her, pulling a sound from her throat that she’d never, ever made before.

She fell against Future’s chest and hands stroked her brow and eyes, Future kissed her temple. “Sweet girl. Love you. Love you.” She felt tears on her cheeks and didn’t remember crying. Supernova. Definitely supernova.

And then the impossible happened. Her body shuddered as it began the careening fall towards another orgasm. She pulled up on trembling forearms and watched as Future’s eyes flashed and bore into hers. He grinned. He’d been moving slowly against her, still stroking her clit.

Simon leaned against her and thrust in and out again, his cock harder than it had been a few moments ago. “Alisha, I’m close. I’m close.”

She was close, too, and she knew Future could tell. He urged her forward, “Yes, baby. One more. Come for us one more time.”

And she did, her body convulsing this time. Soon after she felt Simon pull out behind her and the hot cords of his orgasm crossed her back. Future thrust up against her once, twice, then cried her name as he came, throbbing deep inside of her.

She lay on top of him gasping with him, feeling the slick sweat between them and the fluid on her back, but she couldn’t seem to move. Future was softening inside of her when the warm, soapy smelling cloth descended on her back. Simon was cleaning her while Future stroked her hair.

She moaned when he rolled her over with him until she was spread out on the bed, completely spent. He smiled at her and she couldn’t help but feel a completely unreasonable glitter of annoyance. “How are you so...alert?”

Future laughed and stroked a hand over her breasts, gently and idly, as if he couldn’t bear to stop touching them but had no particular goal. “Well, I didn’t just get completely fucked in not one, but two—”

“Shut it,” she growled, but he only laughed.

Simon came to her other side and slid down beside her and she turned to him, holding his face in her hands. She hadn’t seen him, but she’d felt him around her and in her, she'd heard his gasps and the incoherent words spoken into her shoulder as he rode her. She kissed him deeply and he responded, nipping at her lips and suckling at her tongue. “I’ll be back,” he whispered, and pulled away from her. She frowned and he kissed her on the nose before standing up. “Shower.” He turned and she watched him walk away, admiring, as always, the view he gave her when he left a room in the nude.

She flopped back onto the bed and laughed, feeling more relaxed and, to be honest, more fucked than she had in a long, long while.

Future laughed with her and they stared up at the ceiling for a moment.

“I missed this,” he said quietly.

“Missed fucking me and kinda sorta yourself?”

“Ha, no.” He turned to her. “No. I missed you.”

“How can that be? You probably just left me yesterday, you right bastard.” She poked him in the chest but he grabbed her finger and kissed the tip of it.

“No.” He gazed into her eyes, more serious than she’d expected him to be in the afterglow of amazing sex. “It’s been a bit longer than that.”

 

 


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, everyone! If you've been keeping up with this story, thank you so much for your patience. I knew I wasn't going to abandon it, but WIPs are a leap of faith for readers and I know the WIP pain well. Enjoy and thanks for reading!

“What did you just say?”

Future, seemingly stunned at his own admission, released her finger like it had burned him.

Alisha sat up slowly, watching him. His eyes were wide, searching, processing, and his mouth opened and closed without saying anything. “When was the last time you saw me, in your time?” She asked.

He looked at her and pressed his lips into a line, as if he needed to physically close his mouth to prevent himself from answering her. 

“Oi!” She grabbed the sheets and wrapped them over her breasts. “Answer me.” 

Future’s eyes darted to the shower. They could hear Simon under the stream, hear the variations in the sounds of water hitting the pan and walls. “No,” he whispers, “I shouldn’t have said anything.” 

“Well, you did.” She frowned. “And I’m tired of being the one left out of everything. So, tell me what happens to us.” 

He rubbed the heels of his hands into his eyes. “I can’t tell you any more, Alisha.”

She shook her head slowly, a realization coming to her in sick waves across her stomach. “I’m supposed to trust you both, but you don’t trust me. That’s it, isn’t it?”

He dropped his hands in alarm. “No, no, that’s not it, love. Please, just let it go, will you? Just _let it go._ ”

 _Just let it go— Just—-?_  

Her lower lip trembled and she hated her body for betraying her, but it was telling her something she needed to pay attention to. It told her that this, what she’s feeling, wasn’t just anger. It was hurt. It was pain. First her Simon, now this one. In the span of a few hours, they’d both hurt her again. Neither one of them trusted her, or took her seriously, or treated her as an equal. 

Simon— past, future, present— only trusted himself.  
  
And she’d been too stupid to see it. She’d been swayed by their proclamations of love. That’s how it always ended with them. With all of them. With her, crying and hurt, because she wasn’t enough in the end.

She wanted...she wanted…she didn’t even know what she wanted.

“Don’t call me ‘love’,” she bit out. He blinked, taken aback at her tone. She didn’t care. 

She yanked at the sheet it until it came completely free and crawled to the end of the bed. She faced the empty room that still smelled of their sex, and wrapped the sheet around herself as best she could.

Her voice was low and shaky, barely audible above the sound of the shower. But it was loud enough for him to hear her.  “I thought you, all of you, were different. But this...tonight...you got what you wanted from me. Like the other blokes. Except you lot time traveled for it. You came back and had yourself a nice shag. I let you— “ She choked on her words and stood.

“NO!” Future leapt from the bed in a flash, running around to her and grabbing her shoulders. He met her eyes, fear and anguish cast in pale splotchces across his still-flushed skin. “Please, Alisha, please, no. Don’t...don’t say that. Let me explain.”

She wrenched herself backwards, nearly tripping on the blanket. His hands, lightning quick, shot forward to steady her, but she pushed him away. He stumbled back on the stone floor, still naked and barefoot. His face was a riot of emotions — fear, worry, confusion. 

“You came back for one night to tell him something important, right? That’s what you said earlier. And he said he’d have done the same, if he were in your position. So, you both know that something happened. Something happened with me. But you don’t trust me?! After what we just did?” 

“I _do_ trust you! It’s me that— “ Future shook his head and with the motion, she saw tears glistening at the edges of his eyes. “God, no. Please—” His voice cracked and, despite her anger, the sound shook her to her core. 

The entire night Future had been strong, vibrant, cocky even. Not fearful. Not this. 

Future brought a shaking hand to his mouth and he hugged his middle with the other. His eyes were wild as he watched her, vacillating between fear and desperation.

She watched him stand there, bare in more ways than one, and something clicked.

Somehow, she saw in his trembling frame what brought him here. 

Or at least, part of it.

“I leave you, don’t I?” she breathed. A shudder passed through him, but he didn’t reply. She took a step forward, dragging the sheet with her. “That’s it, isn’t it? Something...something you did drove me away.”

Future took an answering step towards her, thought again, and took it back. He dropped his hand from his mouth and looked back at the shower. Simon was still in there. 

“Tell me.” Her voice brought his attention back to her. 

She stepped forward again, closer to him. “Tell me.” 

His eyes raked over her face and body and fluttered, like he’s thinking of her but not. Thinking of versions of her. Versions of now and versions of then. Making a decision. He dropped his hands to his side and they fall into fists. 

Finally, he heaved a sigh like his lungs could take in everything: the air, the night, her. He took it all in and let it out in a long, shaky breath. 

“Yes.” 

Alisha gasped. She thought...but to have it confirmed? “Why?” 

“I...I got too caught up in becoming what I thought I needed to be. I started taking risks. Doing stupid things.” He took another sigh, this one for strength. His eyes closed tight as he spoke the next words. “You knew I needed to stop, you told me I needed to stop. And I could have. I could have stopped, Alisha.” When he opened his eyes again, they were pleading with her. 

“But you didn’t,” she whispered. 

His jaw clenched, but he held her gaze like he was fighting every instinct to look away. “I didn’t. And then, I got hurt.” 

“The scar….”

He nodded. “It was bad. Really bad. And you...you were done. I didn’t think you’d leave, because...we were in love. We are in….” He shook his head as if, finally, he was just as confused by their circumstances and time travel as she was. 

Alisha shook her head and grasped the sheet tighter. “Is that it, then? You came back here to keep me from leaving you?” 

Future closed his eyes like her questions were knives, driven straight to his heart. His voice was tight when he answered. “No. I came back to try and stop him from becoming the man that makes you leave. That way, that way you won’t—-” His voice broke again and he hung his head, his breath coming in short pants. 

Alisha walked towards him and took his face in her hands. He flinched like her fingers burned his cheeks and shook his head back and forth. Then again, back and forth. One tear, then a second dropped onto the grey cotton sheet, staining it in darks streaks. 

“That way I won’t what, Simon?” she whispered. 

He refused to meet her gaze and shook his head again, but this time it seemed like it was a way for him to reject what he’s about to say. Reject the truth of what happened next, instead of denying that truth from her. 

She pressed once more. “Simon? Simon tell me.” She guided his face up and the agony there was enough to take her breath away. 

“That way you won’t die.” 

His words cut through her. 

Five words in the silence of the flat. 

Five words that slice through her future.

Five words that ricochet against her mind until they take everything over. 

A voice, Simon’s voice, broke the silence-- with quiet fury and dangerous precision. 

“Don’t say another word.” 

They turned to see Simon standing in the bathroom doorway, a towel around his waist. Anger and steam rolled off of him in waves, so that he glared at Future not as a man, but as a god of war and rage. 

Future shook in her palms and stepped backwards out of her reach. “Simon...Simon, I’m sorry, mate.” 

“You lied to me,” Simon growled. “You told me she left. You said she _left you for a couple of weeks!_ ” 

Future backed away from his double, his hands raised. His voice was pleading, pitching higher. “I...I didn’t know what to do. I thought if I just came back and told you something similar to the truth, it’d be enough. If I told you what I’d do differently, what _you_ could do differently, she’d never— the rest wouldn’t happen.” 

“And what now?” Simon roared. He stalked towards his future self. “You’ve broken every rule...taken every risk by telling us.…”

“Simon!” Alisha tried to step in between them, but the sheet pulled at her ankles, twisting her feet up. She paused to fight it back. “Simon, stop.” 

“Now that you’ve come here and told her, told us that—” Simon’s voice broke off in an expression that was both grimace and pure pain. “At best, you’ve destroyed our chances at happiness. We’ll always be waiting...for...for it to happen. And it could still happen anyway, but now it’ll happen _differently,_ because the outcome, that outcome, could be a fixed event. Or something even worse could happen now.” Vibrating with anger, Simon backed Future into the wall.  

The other man steeled his jaw.  “I knew the risks. But you don’t understand—”  

Simon brought his forearm to Future’s throat, cutting him off before he could finish his sentence.  

Future didn’t fight back. He wheezed through the pressure at his throat, but he didn’t even raise a hand.  

“SIMON!” Alisha rushed over to them. She pulled at Simon’s shoulder with a groan and clawed at his arm, but it was no use. “Please stop, please!” she urged through tears.  

 _Not again. Not again._   

Future attempted a swallow, managed a strained sentence. “You don’t... understand... what it’s like...to live... without her.”  

In a voice hard as granite, Simon said, “You don’t understand what it’ll be like loving her knowing she might die. But _I_ will.” He snarled, “You brought this on me,” and slowly leaned his weight against Future’s neck.  

Future finally fought back, but Simon had leverage. And he had pain, fresh from the night’s events, close at hand. Future grasped at his double’s arm, gasped for air through his mouth, sucked it in through his nose.  

Petrol and flames, the weight of him in her arms, promises kept, and hearts broken. 

Alisha couldn’t take it anymore.  

“I can’t watch him die again!” she screamed. 

For a heartbeat, both Simons froze, then Simon released his double and turned to her, concern warring with anger. Future took in air in great gulping breaths, his desperate eyes on her face. 

Alisha trembled, her hands visibly shaking against the sheet, and let the tears fall down her face in streams. 

“Alisha….” Simon began and reached out to her. She skittered back from both of them. His eyebrows turned up in a fresh wave of anguish and he tried again, but she shook her head fiercely. “I...I wouldn’t have killed him. Never. I wouldn’t have. I just—” he balled his fists and looked away.  

“I die,” she whispered. Both men winced. “Or maybe I won’t. But you’re both alive right now and I’d like to keep it that way. That much we can control, yeah?”

“I’d do anything I could to stop it,” Simon said, biting his lower lip.  

Future rubbed at his throat, but his voice was clear when he added, “I know, mate.”  

“I die, or maybe I won’t.” Alisha said again, sniffling, looking between the two of them. She pointed at Future. “You talk about the pain of living like that. Loving me, then going on living with me gone.” She turned to Simon. “And you! You talk about how hard it would be, loving me and living, knowing I could go. Have both of you fucking idiots forgotten that _I’ve_ been loving you and living _both_ ways this entire time?!”  

They both blinked at her, looked at one another, and looked back at her. She ran a hand through her curls and shook her head, turned her eyes skyward. “And then you fight like fucking idiots.” She laughed bitterly. “You are selfish, both of you.”  

For their part, the men glanced at one another and flushed. To their credit, they let her take her time, and neither man talked or moved for long moments. She leaned against the bar and stared off into the distance, wiping her eyes with the sheet until her breathing slowed down.  

“You’re...ah...taking this a lot better than I would have expected,” Future murmured. 

She blew a curl off her face and gave him a wan smile. “Yeah, well, I got pretty good at carrying around worries...about us.”  

“I’m sorry,” her Simon said, quietly. “I’m sorry.” 

She nodded. “I know.”  

Simon paced to the bed in his towel, saw the rumpled sheets, then turned his back to it like he couldn’t quite bear to look at it.  

“I’m sorry, too,” Future said. 

She laughed. “I figured.”  

He quirked the side of his mouth, a hint of his earlier humor back, but his eyes were thoughtful. “I thought I had things under control. I thought I knew how to fix it and now I don’t even know what future I’ll go back to. What I’ve done.”  

“We used to live that way, you know,” Alisha said. “Without knowing our futures.”  

He huffed a quiet laugh. “True, sweetheart.” Simon bristled at the pet name and they both noticed. Future turned to him. “I owe you an apology, too. I’m sorry.” 

Simon’s jaw clenched. He met Future’s gaze, but he didn’t reply. 

Future, still naked, stepped away from the wall and walked towards his double, his hands wide. “Simon, mate, I said I’m sorry!” 

Simon stared him down. “If what you did risks her, puts her in more danger….” 

Future ran both hands through his hair in exasperation. “I fucked up! I fucked up. I know I did.” 

“Do you?” Simon challenged. “Do you really?” 

Future dragged his hands down his face. “Yes,” came the muffled reply. 

Alisha sighed in the moment of silence between the boys that seemed to drag on.  

Until Simon spoke.  

“Prove it.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, in case you haven't noticed, there are a few things I'm doing here with the canon and with off screen bits of the story. I thought I'd share in case folks were curious! Absolutely feel free to skip if behind-the-scenes authors notes aren't your thing.
> 
> 1) In my mind, due to timey-wimey-ness, it's very possible there are interactions that we didn't see on the show between these 2 (3) characters. Time travel allows for events (like the one in this fic) to happen once, then get altered later, so perhaps this takes place in a night we didn't see on the show, and then it got undone. Or it happened, and Alisha and Simon kept it private. ;-)
> 
> 2) I believe that Alisha's death is fixed, or else how do we get our loving couple into their neverending time loop of love and tragedy? But, like many time travel stories, that fixed event doesn't have to happen in one single way. She still dies in this world of this fic (not on page, don't worry!), but in this Future Simon's present she just so happens to die under different tragic circumstances. I'm leaving the specifics of her death here open on purpose, for us and for the characters. This Future could never describe it, this Simon wouldn't ask right away, and this Alisha has already imagined the possibility; it's not her immediate priority to find out the details.
> 
> 3) Telling people their future is bad. This is a time travel rule I ascribe to, although I'm open to how exactly it messes things up for characters. 
> 
> 4) Simon's obsessive behavior and temper/emotion regulation issues are a canon thing, and I've always been fascinated with what that looked like, and can look like, when he's pushed. I have familiarity with these issues and love writing about these aspects of mental health.
> 
> 5) Alisha is tougher than everyone thinks.


End file.
